I’m in My Early 40s. Where Are the Best Places to Look for Men?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
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Reader Question:

I am a woman in my early 40s looking to find someone for a serious relationship. I have tried long-distance relationships and have wasted my time on them. I am now on Match.com and I find that many men my age are looking for women much younger than me. I still want kids or someone with kids, but I find that most men don’t want to start a family at this age.

I don’t know the best place to look now as I am out of the bar scene and can’t compete with 25 or 30 year olds.

Where are the best places to look? What do I do?


Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

First of all, know this: Most people are attracted to peers across the lifespan. There is a guy your age who is looking for you.

I have some suggestions about maternity though. To take some stress off your desire to find a partner fast and conceive, look into having your eggs frozen or begin the long-term process of adoption.

Then find a guy through a shared interest. Look for him in the volunteer pool of your charity work, find him doing the sport you like to do, meet him through friends and relatives. Let them know you are actively looking and ready to settle down.

And then live your life to the fullest. The most attractive people are positive, happy people. Create a fulfilling life with healthy friendships, conscious community service and healthful living. If he’s out there, he’ll notice your happiness.

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