Finding the right guy is only half the battle. You also have to hold on to him. Of course, there are plenty of guys who really aren’t worth holding on to. Those are often the ones who come up with the lamest excuses for breaking up with you. Let’s take a few minutes to analyze some of these excuses and see if there are any lessons to be learned.
1. “I like you too much, and it scares me.”
This could be true and a sign of commitment phobia. Have you been dropping hints about the future? It could be possible to save this one, if you want to give him a lot of rope and see if his maturity will catch up to his emotions. But your efforts could be in vain if it’s not that he isn’t ready, but that he isn’t interested and is just too much of a weasel to say it.
2. “You like me too much, and I don’t feel as deeply about you.”This one is probably true, at least in his mind, and it took a lot of courage to say it. Sometimes even sweet, sensitive guys are put off by too big a change in their lives. He may be lamenting some lost freedom, especially if he was alone before you started giving him so many magical nights. For this kind of guy, keep the treats rare and special, and don’t yank him to your place with your magic rope if he isn’t excited about the idea.
Your tears at this point will only confirm to him that you really are too attached, so stay cool if you want to save it. Turn it around on him and say that you just like having someone to snuggle with. If you’re OK with using sex to hold on to him while you work your way into his heart, go for it. Otherwise, you may have to write this one off and try to be more aloof with the next guy.
“There’s one thing that’s true about all of his lame excuses: It’s definitely not you. It’s him.”3. “You deserve someone better.”He’s not that into you. The statement itself is undoubtedly true. You deserve someone who really cherishes you above all other women — he doesn’t. Unless he has a huge inferiority complex, or you are somehow making him feel unworthy, this one is pretty much a lost cause. Move on, go out, look great and make him eat his heart out.
4. “I’m just confused.”Remember that women mature a lot earlier than men. This guy doesn’t know what he wants. Just a few months ago, all he had to think about was baseball and sci-fi adventures. Now, he’s got this whole relationship thing that’s dragging him down. He just wants you when he wants you, and then he wants to put you on a shelf and forget about you until he wants some more. It’s not just the sex — he likes everything about you. He just can’t handle it all the time. You’ve got your work cut out for you.
These are the main categories that a guy’s lame breakup excuses fall into. You have your standard excuses too: “We never talk anymore,” “We’ve grown apart,” and “You like your friends more than you like me.” But there’s one thing that’s true about all of his lame excuses: It’s definitely not you. It’s him.
