Choosing A Dating Site Username

Online Dating

11 Tips for Choosing a Dating Site Username That Works (Feb. 2024)

Julie Spira

Written by: Julie Spira

Julie Spira

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Finding an attractive date online is quite similar to picking up an eye-catching newspaper or magazine or reading an article from an online news site. What grabs your attention and draws you in to read the full story is a well-thought-out headline and associated photo.

The same theory applies to an online dating profile, where you have a split second to make a great impression during someone’s swiping frenzy to get a conversation started.

Where does it begin? With a username to catch his or her eye. If you’re not feeling creative at the moment, I’ve included 47 different examples to help you create a unique username that describes the essence of who you are.

1. Make Sure Your Username is Appropriate for the Dating Site

Some dating sites and apps only allow you to use your first name as a username because information is often pulled from Facebook or other social media sites. However, if you’re on a site or app that allows you to use a customized username, make sure it’s catchy and that you can change it from time to time to be the fresh face or new headline to attract love.

If you’re on Tinder or Bumble, you’ll need to use your real first name, but other sites and apps still let you create a username that defines your personality.

Photo of a woman on a dating app

If the dating site doesn’t require you to use your first name as part of your username, this is your chance to be more creative.

If you’re on a site or app that focuses on religion, having a username that focuses on your faith will be not just appropriate, but it will be welcomed by potential dates. A good example is “ChoirBoy” for a man or “FaithFirst” for a woman if your goal is to find someone with whom to attend services on Sundays.

It would be a big mistake to have your name listed as “SexyMama” or “HarleyDude,” unless you’re looking for something more casual.

On sites and apps like Match, OkCupid, and OurTime, they encourage you to use your real name because authenticity is the focus, but you can still select a username and make it fun and unique.

2. Be Confident and Show You’re Attractive

Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac in a dating profile, and looks do matter. So, how do you get that to come across in your screen name?

Some women know they can cause heads to turn by being attractive both from the inside and outside, and their confidence will shine through in their username.

Photo of a man looking at himself in a mirror

Confidence is an attractive quality whether you’re looking for dates online or offline.

Men will gravitate toward profiles that have screen names to show someone is attractive such as “PrettyGirlNYC,” “BlondeBeauty,” or “FunAndFit.”

Women are more likely to click on profiles with names such as “TallGuyFLA,” “WeekendHiker,” or “MarathonRunner” to indicate that a user is physically fit.

3. Use Strategic Keywords

A study from Match revealed that certain keywords appeared in the site’s most successful dating profiles, so why not grab one of them and use it in your username?

When it comes to keywords, it turns out that men and women’s desires aren’t that different, starting with the word “love.” Some useful keywords that men like include:

  • Caring
  • Easy
  • Family
  • Music
  • Laugh or laughter
  • Kind
  • Love
  • Happy
  • Nice

Top keywords that women like include:

  • Love
  • Fun
  • Friends
  • Laugh
  • Family
  • Happy
  • Kind
  • Honest
  • Caring

In a perfect world, everyone would meet someone to fall in love with who was nice, kind, easygoing, happy, honest, and caring. The problem is both men and women complain that everyone’s profiles look the same, and what they say they’re looking for in a person doesn’t grab their attention in a busy digital world. This is where your username comes in handy.

Good examples of usernames with these keywords include “MusicLoverLA,” “HappyGirlNYC,” or “LaughterAndLove” for women and “FamilyMan,” “HonestGuyInTX,” or “FriendsFirst” for men.

In the past, I’ve used the username “Pianobaby” because I have a baby grand piano, which uses the keyword of “music.” Plus, it’s a great icebreaker, as potential dates would write to ask if I was a music teacher, played in an orchestra, or what my favorite song was to get a conversation started.

4. Use Your Favorite Song Lyrics

One of my favorite quotes by William Shakespeare is “If music be the food of love, play on.” Continuing with the music theme, I’ve created usernames for singles with song titles or lyrics to catch someone’s eye.

The best part is you can ask those viewing your profile to name the artist or the second line in the song. You’ll find people quickly conducting a Google search to name that tune. Some dating apps, such as Tinder, let you select a theme song, and other apps connect to your Spotify account.

Photo of headphones and a guitar

Using a song lyric in your username can be fun because then people can try to guess what song it’s from, or they can try to guess the lyrics that follow.

One example I’ve used is “BlueJeanBabyLaLady” with many quickly responding with “Seamstress for the band” or saying they were an Elton John fan.

There are more amazing Beatles songs to choose from. If you’re a writer, try “PaperBackWriterDC.” If your name is Rita, use “LovelyRita.” If you’re a male accountant, try “TaxmanInSF.”

5. Show That You’re Smarter Than the Average Guy or Girl

While physical looks tend to attract someone initially, you’ll need to hold your own in conversations and eventually when you meet on a date.

You don’t need to be a bestselling author, but it’s hip to be a sapiosexual these days. If you haven’t heard of the term, you can find it as one of the sexual identities to select, from straight to questioning, on OkCupid.

Photo of a man reading a book

Don’t be afraid to show off your intelligence in your username.

The Collins Dictionary defines sapiosexual as: “One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature; behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.”

Some usernames that focus on intellect include “BeautyAndBrains,” “SmartMBA,” or “LegalLover.”

If you want to show off your college alma mater or meet fellow alumni, you can include the school you went to in usernames like “HarvardMD,” “MITEngineer,” or “BigRedGrad.”

6. Don’t Focus on Physical Looks Unless You’re Looking for a Hookup

If you’re looking for a more serious relationship, I strongly suggest not creating a username that defines your relationship based on being hot.

Some examples to avoid include “HotAndSexy,” “RunwayModel,” or “VirileGuy,” all of which I’ve seen used in dating profiles.

Photo of a couple kissing in bed

If you’re interested in hooking up, you can say something like “CasualDater” in your username. However, if you’re not interested in hooking up, I’d avoid usernames like “HotAndSexy.”

If you’re interested in a casual relationship, then be honest about it. Some usernames that would work include “CasualDater,” “SerialDater,” or “NothingSerious.” While you may not get the most activity, at least you’ll be representing exactly what you’re looking for should someone else feel the same way.

7. Be Kind and Positive

Both men and women are looking for someone who’s kind and not a Debbie or Donnie Downer.

To keep your profile positive and upbeat, use some of these keywords in your profile. Some examples that work for all genders include “KindAndCompassionate,” “FromTheHeart,” or “AlwaysSmiling.”

8. Include Activities That Describe Your Passions

When I create usernames for singles on dating apps, I always ask about their passions outside of work. A potential date needs to know there’s space for you in his or her life and what a possible weekend date would be like together.

Photo of a woman doing yoga

Use your screen name as a way to tell people about yourself.

Some usernames I’ve used that have been very successful include “YogaTeacher,” “SunsetPainter,” and “SpinDoctor.” All three of the people I’ve coached who used these usernames are in committed relationships, and their usernames attracted the right person who loves yoga, art, and spin classes.

9. Show Your Hobbies in Your Screen Name

A question I often ask singles is: Do you hike on weekends, run in marathons, or volunteer for charities that support a cause?

The answers have resulted in some creative usernames, including “NYMarathonGuy,” “HikerInCA,” and “CharityGirl.” All of these names made it easy for someone to reach out and ask the users questions, including “Did you actually run in the New York Marathon?” “What’s your favorite hiking trail?” and “What charities do you support?”

10. Don’t Use Numbers

Nothing says you’re lazy more than a username with your first name and a bunch of digits. If you want to be taken seriously, having a dating profile name of “Janet147190” sounds boring.

Photo of numbers

Including numbers in your username that don’t mean anything to you just comes off as lazy.

Instead, use your first name and perhaps a zip code or postal code that could easily be recognized by a single neighbor who’d like to date someone who lives nearby. A good example would be “Sharon90210” to indicate that you live in Beverly Hills or “SteveM4W2G8” that shows you live in Toronto, Canada.

11. Leave the Letter X Out of Your Username

Finally, while there are 26 letters in the alphabet, the one you should omit in your username and anywhere in your profile is the letter “X” or multiples of this letter.

Profiles that say “SuzyXXX” or “JohnXX” indicate a sexual tone and represent that you’re looking for a hookup. If this is your goal, then, by all means, include it in your username. However, if you do, don’t be surprised by the random dick pic you may receive.

Your Username is the First Impression Online Daters Have of You

At the end of the day, your username is the first impression someone makes of you. It can follow you throughout your relationship and will hopefully become the pet name your future partner affectionately whispers in your ear at night.

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