He Keeps Telling Me to See Other Men. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

I am a senior woman divorcee and have not been with another man in seven years. I met a really nice man and felt physically attracted to him on the second date. We went to bed, but other than touching and kissing, he was unable to perform.

I really like him, but being only one year since his wife passed, he does not want to commit, which is OK with me for now. He keeps telling me to go out and meet other men. He doesn’t want to hurt me.

What should I do?

-Lenore (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

He’s being very clear with you. Go out and meet other men. He’s not ready to commit and may not be into you.

Also, his erectile dysfunction (which occurs in one-third of men over the age of 50) may be causing him embarrassment, so he may want to avoid women or try things out with a different partner.

No matter what his issue, the bigger question is this: Why would you give your precious time to someone who promises to hurt you?

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.