He Has Erectile Dysfunction. Is There Hope for a Long-Term Relationship?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I am 70 and he is 68. He has ED (erectile dysfunction). He has tried ED medication but has been allergic to the three he has tried. I have had radiation in my pelvis but nothing works down there anymore, including urinary and fecal incontinence.

I have not told him about that. We are both lonely. He is very interested in me. I see him as a good guy who is very kind. We both enjoy kissing and holding each other.

Is there any hope for a long-term relationship? Am I being fair to him?

-MaryAnn (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear MaryAnn,

Who ever told you a long-term relationship filled with love and caring must also include full-on intercourse?

Plenty of older people are still enjoying sexuality that is filled with sensuous touch, kissing and stroking. This is an act of love.

But the most difficult part may be learning to talk about your sexual challenges.

My suggestion is to begin the conversation by telling him how much you care about him and how much you enjoy his company.

Everything is doable. You just have to be brave, talk about your limitations and come up with some creative solutions that work for both of you.

A relationship is about an exchange of care. And I’m sure you both offer each other care and deep love.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.