How Date An Illness

Senior Dating

How to Date with an Illness

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Looking for love is always a difficult and often intimidating proposition. When you are trying to get back into the game later in life with a health issue, chronic illness or limits to your mobility, it can seem like you already have a couple of strikes against you.

No doubt, some women will avoid dating men with health issues, but the fact is that most will be open to the possibility. Before you decide to adopt six cats and subscribe to a dozen movie channels, give love a chance.

These ideas might help you find an approach to dating that works for you. Start out by knowing that nobody’s perfect and your physical or medical challenges have made you a better man.

Find a Person Who Can Relate

The perception is always so much worse than the affliction, and nobody understands that better than someone who deals with the same kind of demons every day.

You have learned to live with your health issue for so long that it has become almost invisible to you. It may appear to be an obstacle to others, but it no longer gets in your way.

A woman who has also conquered or mastered a similar challenge will understand that you are still a whole, complete and fully competent man.

“Get out, get online, and never,

never, never give up.”


Caring for and helping each other comes naturally for both of you, and you will see each other in terms of your abilities and strengths, not in terms of any infirmity. You will understand her temporary setbacks, and she will have the patience to support you when you need it, too.

It doesn’t really matter if your challenges are similar or totally different. You are both accustomed to facing extraordinary challenges every day, and you will both be able to see through the impairment to the real person inside.

Educate Your Dates

If you are dating somebody in normal health, you want your health issue to become more and more imperceptible to them as they get to know you better. The best way to do this is to explain the condition or malady to them as soon as it looks like the relationship is gaining momentum.

This should be done in a very matter-of-fact and clinical way, not in a manner that evokes sympathy or an emotional response to your suffering. Talk about pain as if it were a can of beans, and don’t try for an academy award in drama.

You also need to let them know how you deal with the issue and how it restricts your abilities, actions and dietary habits and how it does not. Let them know you don’t always require help, but be honest in conveying if there are times when you could use their assistance. They need to know when to hold back and when to pitch in.

Once the curtain is lifted on the mystery and unknown elements of your condition, that is the time the stigma will start to vanish from their mind. Let them see you for what you can do so they won’t look at you in terms of your limitations.

Online Dating Can Help

If you don’t have the confidence or the mobility to find a woman the old-fashioned way, try online dating services with good reputations and reviews. Dating apps have become a mainstream and highly reliable way to find a compatible partner.

There are mainstream dating apps for everybody as well as niche sites like OurTime made specifically for senior daters. Singles can even find niche websites for disabled daters and singles with STDs.

The great thing about online dating is that you can let people know as much about you as you want to share, so the interest you get will be from women who have already accepted your health issues.

I recommend you market yourself as a regular guy looking for love, and if they are interested enough to view your profile, that is when they will learn about any medical issues or limitations.

Put your best foot forward to attract women with the real man, but be honest about any important health concerns.

Love is always a miracle, and you never know when it’s going to sneak up on you. I think it is fair to say that no one has more love to give and more kindness and generosity in her heart than a senior woman — or a senior man with a health concern.

One thing is for sure: Love will never find you if you stay hidden away in your house. Get out, get online, and never, never, never give up. There’s a miracle waiting to happen just for you.

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