4 Mistakes Career Women Make When Dating

Women's Dating

4 Mistakes Career Women Make When Dating

Charreah K. Jackson

Written by: Charreah K. Jackson

Charreah K. Jackson

Charreah K. Jackson is a national dating coach based in New York and the relationships editor of ESSENCE Magazine. To connect with Charreah and discover more tips for the love and life you deserve, visit Charreah.com or follow her @Charreah.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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We know the stats: Women are continuing to make strides in the professional world and now outnumber men in many graduate programs.

It’s a phenomenal time in women’s history when it comes to the working world.

But all those career achievements don’t always lead to relationship success. I coach many professional women to get out of their own way in the dating world.

Here are the top phrases to lose if you want a promotion in your love life.

1. “Men are intimidated by my career.”

This by far is one of the biggest myths about today’s men.

After interviewing hundreds of men, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to discover most want a partner in life, not a passenger. They want to root on a woman pursuing her goals and also feel supported.

What they don’t want is a woman who throws her success in their face or makes a man feel like she doesn’t need him in her life.

So along with sharing your professional passions on a date, be sure to share your personal hobbies and the things you enjoy about his company.

2. “This is a position I need to fill.”

Finding a compatible partner is not a to-do item that will be checked off.

Being in a relationship will require your attention and commitment.

So while some qualities from the working world can be beneficial when dating, other characteristics need to be left at your desk.

Don’t treat your date like an interview where you are pumping him for information, but see it as a chance for your date to get an inner view of who you are as a person while you are doing the same.

“Investing in relationships and people

is vital to your long-term happiness.”

3. “I want love to happen organically.”

Dating is not the romantic comedy we grew up watching. Your dream guy is probably not going to spot you across the street, stop traffic and ask you out.

Knowing that doesn’t stop many women from still holding out on their fairy tale to begin and missing out on a real-life romance.

One thing I do with my coaching clients is ask them about a career highlight. Their eyes light up as they tell me about something incredible they pulled off and we write it all down.

With that burst of energy, I let them know discovering lasting love will require some of that same faith, muscle and commitment.

Just because you meet the love of your life by asking your friends to set you up or strategically going to conferences full of the types of guys you want to date, that doesn’t make the connection any less magical or your bond any less fulfilling.

Getting the love you want requires casting your net as wide as possible to meet your match.

4. “Right now, I’m just really busy with work.”

There’s a lot of, “Should I call? What to wear? What the hell is going through his head?” while on the quest for love.

With the uncertainty of dating, for many women, it’s easier to focus on a sure thing — their work.

But this is a big mistake as your job will never hug you back. Ultimately, a few frogs are worth it when you find your prince.

Psychologist and dating coach Paulette Murphy, Ph.D., realized the importance of finding a partner at the beginning of her career.

“When I was doing my residency, I noticed early on that when people are dying, nothing mattered more than their significant other and family,” she said.

Investing in personal relationships and people is vital to your long-term health and happiness.

And recent studies also show an active dating life can increase productivity in workers. Double win!

Have you caught yourself saying any of these phrases or discovered other dating mistakes career women make? You’re not alone!