5 Steps To Approaching A Swinger Couple

Men's Dating

5 Steps to Approaching a Swinger Couple

Jackie Melfi

Written by: Jackie Melfi

Jackie Melfi

Jackie Melfi is in an open relationship with her husband, John. Together they are the driving force behind some of the most well-known swingers clubs in the world. Jackie and John recently were featured in an ABC News Nightline special report called “Getting ‘Naughty in N’Awlins’: Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention.” They also coach couples on the lifestyle and frequently blog on the topic. Visit www.openlove101.com to sign up for their FREE newsletter and get updates on their videos and articles.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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So you and your partner have decided you want to give swinging a try? You’ve had the conversation and read some articles, and you are now ready to move to the next phase: finding a couple to “swing” with.

Should be easy enough, but what exactly is the best way to approach another like-minded couple?

Well, John and I are not only swingers, but we also own a couple of swingers clubs (coletteclubs.com). We have compiled a top five list of important tips and strategies to help those new (and seasoned) to the lifestyle.

1. Just introduce yourselves

Seems simple enough.

You and your partner have decided to visit a local swingers club. You see another couple who seems interesting and who you both find appealing. Take the initiative and go introduce yourselves to them.

Remember this is no different from any other introduction. “Hi, how are you? I’m John, and this is my wife Jackie.”

2. Strike up a conversation

This will be the natural progression following an introduction. “So is this your first visit to the club? Do you live in the area?” Again, the conversation can begin just like any other first meeting conversation.

Strike up a conversation

This is an important opportunity to see how the four of you mesh.

This is that all important opportunity to see how the four of you mesh. Is the conversation flowing? Does everyone seem to be enjoying each other?

TIP: Don’t start off by talking about sex.

3. Bringing up the lifestyle

This may sound silly, especially since you are already in an environment where like-minded couples gather, but it is still an important topic.

“So how long have you been in the lifestyle? Is this your first visit to a swingers club?” Not everyone visiting a club will be a veteran swinger. You may have approached a couple new to the lifestyle (aka a newbie).

Talking about the lifestyle can create another level of interesting conversation. “Oh my gosh, we’re new also. I was so nervous about visiting!” Or “We are lifetime members of this club and have been in the lifestyle for years.”

4. Take it to the dance floor

What better way to get a “feel” for each other than moving your newfound friendship onto the dance floor!

Take it to the dance floor

What better way to get a “feel” for each other than moving your newfound friendship onto the dance floor!

Both couples will have the opportunity to not only dirty dance with their own partner, but you can swap partners and really get up close and personal with your potential playmates.

5. Wanna play?

So everything seems to be going smoothly. Everyone is having a great time. The conversations are flowing, as well as the drinks. The four of you have even ventured out onto the dance floor for a little pumping and grinding!

The energy is getting more and more sexually charged, enough so that venturing into the playrooms sounds and feels enticing.

How do you bring up moving to the playrooms? Playing is a term swingers use to describe being with another couple, whether it involves watching, heavy petting or intercourse. Sometimes it’s as simple as “Hey guys, we’re going to the playrooms … want to come?”

Remember this is about enhancing the relationship with your partner. Whether you end up playing with another amazing couple or you and your partner end up exploring each other, it will always be a successful experience. Happy swinging!

Photo sources: nytimes.com, imdb.com

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