Polyamorous Dating Sites

Online Dating

7 Best Polyamorous Dating Sites (That Are Free to Try)

Hayley Matthews
Hayley Matthews Updated:

Polyamorous dating sites can do a lot to normalize the practice of seeking and romancing multiple partners at once.

Merriam-Webster defines polyamory as, “the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.” According to The Advocate, up to 5% of Americans participate in some form of consensual non-monogamy ranging from an open relationship or polyamory.

We believe a person has the right to love who they want in any way they want as long as it’s consensual, it’s not hurting anyone, and it’s not breaking a law. If you and your partner are looking to share your love with another man or woman, check out the top seven free polyamorous dating sites below, and keep scrolling for our answers to some FAQs about poly dating.

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Match isn’t a polyamory-specific dating site, but it’s one of the best options because of its size (40 million+ users), history (founded in 1995), and success rate (more dates, relationships, and marriages than any other dating site). Not to mention you won’t have to pay to sign up, create a profile, upload photos, browse, receive matches, flirt in a variety of ways, and attend events, among other things. Match is a pretty open-ended and openminded dating space, but it doesn’t include “married” in its relationship status options, so you’ll have to describe the situation either in your profile or your messages.

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Whether you’re looking for a third, fourth, or multiple partners, BeNaughty has your back. The online dating site has millions of users who are interested in polyamory, open relationships, swinging, and other alternative lifestyles. Just specify what you want in your profile, and begin browsing for free. BeNaughty is a global dating site, so you shouldn’t have to try very hard to find compatible matches. Swingers who are seeking a casual hookup or a threesome can enjoy free communication features on BeNaughty, and they don’t have to play down their sexual intentions and fantasies.

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With more than 65 million users, Ashley Madison has a vast and diverse membership that’s made up of singles and couples looking for polyamorous relationships, affairs, threesomes, and cheating opportunities. For men, it’s free to sign up, create a profile, receive messages, and flirt in a variety of ways. For women, absolutely everything is free. Ashley Madison also provides a button at the top of your screen that you can click if you want to quickly be redirected away from the married dating site.

URL:  https://ashleymadison.com/

Polyamory Date describes itself as “a community for real poly adventures,” and that includes casual hookups, first dates, and poly relationships. After you create a free profile, you can upload videos, view other members’ videos, chat privately or in groups, and read blog posts with advice about polyamorous dating. Polyamory Date is particularly proud of its Anonymous Messaging System, which allows you to remain discreet until you’re ready to reveal information about yourself. You and your primary partner can join this online dating platform as a couple and start wooing multiple people at once.

URL: https://polyamorydate.com/

5

Open Minded

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OpenMinded provides a fun, secure, judgment-free space where millions of polyamorous singles and couples can connect, and it’s free to sign up for and use this poly dating site. It was founded around 2014 by Brandon Wade, who also founded the affair dating site Seeking Arrangement and the sugar dating site What’s Your Price. Some of the platform’s coolest features include private photo sharing and messaging, Favorites lists, and invitations to exclusive OpenMinded parties.

URL:  https://openminded.com/

6

BeyondTwo

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No matter your relationship status, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, location, religion, or background, BeyondTwo welcomes you with open arms. This polyamorous dating platform encourages a couple to go beyond just the two of them to find sexual pleasure, happiness, and love. The best part is you won’t have to spend any money to register, browse, and flirt here. According to the poly dating site, “By encouraging poly individuals to become involved in BeyondTwo and feel welcome to meet, solve problems, and discuss issues that they feel are important, we feel that this will empower the community worldwide as a whole.”

URL: https://beyondtwo.com/

Not only is Polyamorous Passions a popular dating site, but it’s also a popular social network that’s inclusive of polyamorous singles and couples. Every day, millions of polyamorous people make friends, find casual dates, and meet multiple partners. You could be another success story — all you have to do is give the site your name, age, city, relationship status, gender, and match preferences. Polyamorous Passions is 100% free, and the team says it will keep the poly dating site that way for as long as it’s around.

URL:  https://polyamorouspassions.com/

FAQs: What is Unicorn Dating?

Unicorn dating simply means that a straight couple wants to find a bisexual woman who would be willing to have a threesome. This is typically different from polyamorous dating because it’s just about the one sexual experience and not building any type of three-sided relationship.

Is Polyamory Legal in the United States?

Yes, polyamory is perfectly legal in the U.S. and in most other countries as well. No matter which state you live in, there are no laws against dating two, three, four, or as many people as you can handle at a time. Some married couples vow to stay faithful, but that’s not actually a legal requirement for marriage. You can’t arrest someone for cheating — though you may be able to sue for breach of contract, emotional damage, or something like that.

It’s not illegal to maintain multiple relationships at once. However, maintaining multiple marriages at once (as in, polygamy) is illegal in most of the United States. The only exception to this is Utah. Polygamy is legal in Utah where Mormon men frequently have multiple wives and families.

What’s the Difference Between Polygamy and Polyamory?

It’s easy to confuse the terms polygamy and polyamory because both involve seeing multiple partners at once. However, a polygamist is married to those partners, while a polyamorous person simple dates multiple people.

Photo of a triad or threesome

Poly dating sites can help polyamorous people explore their feelings.

Polyamory comes in many different forms. It encompasses a married couple who date other people as well as a single man or woman who has two or three sexual partners and doesn’t mind mixing and matching. Polyamory is about sharing the love without being bonded for life or making a huge commitment.

Polygamy, on the other hand, is the practice of marrying more than one person and being equally loyal to those marriages and the families that spring from them.

What Does V Mean in a Polyamorous Relationship?

There are many types of polyamorous relationships, and vee or V is one of them. A vee relationship gets its name because one person is dating two people at a time, so the setup looks like the letter V. One person acts as the hinge between two dating partners (metamours) who are not seeing each other. Their only connection is to that polyamorous person.

Some metamours only know of each other but rarely meet, while others are good friends or even roommates. Every V relationship has its own rules, and it’s up to the three people to decide what they’re comfortable with.

Poly people should note that a V relationship isn’t the same as a triad because in a triad everyone involved is dating and/or sexually involved with each other. If the two metamours in a vee relationship start seeing each other romantically, then they’re technically in a triad now.

Which Dating App is Best for Poly Dating?

A polyamorous dating app can do a lot to help singles, swingers, and couples explore their local dating options without worrying about being judged, chastised, or censured for their poly lifestyle. Some couples rely on Tinder as their go-to dating app, but this app isn’t geared toward couples and doesn’t have options for find dates who are open to polyamorous relationships.

Feeld is a dating app created by a man in a poly relationship, and it offers a much broader and kinkier dating environment that’s free to explore. If you’re a couple, you can own your desires up front and attract multiple sexual partners who are into the same things you are.

Can a Poly Relationship Last?

Yes, a poly relationship built on trust, communication, and love can certainly last for many years, decades, or even a lifetime. We’ve heard many success stories from poly couples who have an arrangement that works for them.

Photo of Laurie Ellington, the Poly Coach

Laurie Ellington, the Poly Coach, helps individuals be honest about their desires.

Poly Coach Laura Ellie told us she’s been in a happy polyamorous relationship for several years and finds that lifestyle best suits her emotional and sexual needs. “My adventure into being in an open relationship came from a place within myself,” she said. “It’s an amazing lifestyle, and I feel really lucky.”

It’s definitely possible to create an intimate relationship with multiple people at once. The key is to be considerate of your partners’ feelings, consistently show affection, create rules and boundaries to make sure everyone is comfortable with what’s going on. If an issue arises, then you need to talk about it with a clear head and open heart. And always make it clear that have a romance with a stranger or dating another person will not diminish your love for your primary partner.

Some judgmental monogamous people say that a poly relationship leads to jealousy and hurt, but it can actually be a good way to reinforce trust, satisfy fantasies, and create excitement and joy in a relationship. Not everyone is cut out for the monogamous lifestyle, and sometimes they need to embrace their polyamorous desires to become the best primary partner they can be.

How Common is Polyamory?

As we said before, about 5% of Americans say they have engaged in polyamory, and another 20% have dabbled in open relationships and non-monogamous arrangements. So, if you’re having thoughts of straying from your primary partner, you’re not alone.

Even though polyamorous dating is widespread, it’s also underground, so you may not hear about the times your friends, coworkers, or acquaintances stepped out of monogamous relationships. People are reluctant to talk about such private and intimate affairs because society still judges those who engage in a polyamorous lifestyle.

Despite a 2015 Gallup poll that shows a growing tolerance for relationships and situations outside the bounds of traditional monogamous marriage, 25.8% of polyamorous people responding to a survey by a polyamory advocacy organization said they’ve experienced discrimination because of their choices.

How Should Poly Couples Seek a Secondary Partner?

If you want to turn a monogamous relationship into a polyamorous relationship, you’ll need to start putting feelers out into the dating scene. The best way to do this is to join the online dating scene. Couples can create a dating profile and still keep a low profile by keeping their real names and relationship status out of the equation, at least at first.

In many cases, a poly couple will create a shared dating profile where they both appear in profile pictures, but the bio focuses on one only partner (typically the female partner if it’s a heterosexual couple) so as not scare people off. Some dating sites and apps will allow users to identify as couples, swingers, or polyamorous daters, and that can take some of the guesswork and game playing out of the process.

OkCupid actually has a variety of gender and orientation options available, including pansexual and demisexual, so it attracts poly singles and couples seeking hot dates.

Screenshot of OkCupid

OkCupid facilitates over 91 million love connections in the average year.

Our online dating experts recommend being as straightforward as you can about your intentions in your dating profile. Key phrases like open relationship, sexually adventurous, triad, swinging, and/or casual hookup can signal potential partners that you’re a polyamorous person or couple.

The goal shouldn’t be to deceive a potential partner and then spring the fact that you’re actually two people once they’re invested in the conversation or have gone on a first date. A person cannot be tricked into the polyamorous lifestyle. You’re the ambassador, so you have to explain what it’s really about and what you’re looking for. You may have to answer questions or confront stereotypes to help them understand how the arrangement would work and the unique benefits of it.

Whether you’re picking up dates online or in person, the best way to put someone at ease and earn their good will is by being honest and authentic from the very beginning.

How Do Monogamous Couples Transition to a Polyamorous Lifestyle?

Many a polyamorous couple has started out in a monogamous relationship and realized that something was missing. Perhaps one person has a greater sexual appetite than their partner, or perhaps both individuals feel underappreciated or unfulfilled. In such situations, sometimes dating other people on the side or adding a third person into the relationship can change the emotional and sexual dynamic for the better.

Of course, it’s not always easy to transition into the polyamorous lifestyle, and first-timers can run into trouble because they don’t know the lingo or the best polyamorous dating site to help them out. Hopefully, this article is doing its part to address both those issues.

What Does Polyandry Mean?

Polyandry is a form of polygamy where the woman has at least two husbands. Polyandry is illegal in the U.S. and pretty much every other country in the world.

Do Swingers Have to be Bisexual, Queer, or Polysexual for it to Work?

Swingers — or couples who engage in sex with multiple partners — can identify all across the spectrum of sexuality. Some even identify as straight. Maybe you’re just a little poly-curious and would like to try having a threesome or switching partners with a hot couple you know. It’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with and how that impacts your sexual identity.

You don’t have to engage in a full-blown polyamorous relationship to enjoy the swinger lifestyle and mix things up in the bedroom.

It’s a myth that all swingers are bisexual, and it’s also a myth that only men are interested in polyamory and having threesomes. According to survey results published by The Advocate, 49.5% of polyamorous people identify as female, 35.4% as male, and 15.1% either decline to choose or identify as another gender (e.g., genderqueer).

How is the Poly Lifestyle Different From Cheating?

This question comes up a lot, and it’s definitely not cool that so many people confuse polyamory with cheating, so let’s set the record straight. Polyamorous couples give each other permission to go out one dates, explore sexual relationships, and create new connections that fulfill their desires. It’s not cheating because you have your primary partner’s blessing.

Monogamous couples do no sanction such behavior, and they expect to be the sole recipient of their partner’s love and affection, so dating outside of these relationships is called cheating.

The poly lifestyle differs from cheating because one builds trust, and the other breaks trust. Of course, both situations could lead to jealousy, but poly couples have the benefit of being open with each other to work through such issues and keep the primary relationship strong.

Some cheaters may claim to be polyamorous, but they’re engaging in unethical nonmonagamy and selfishly disregarding their partner’s wishes. That’s not what ethical polyamory is about at all.

As They Say, The More The Merrier!

The Advocate reports that Gallup polls taken from 2001 to 2015 reveal a 15% increase among those who view sex between an unmarried man and unmarried woman as acceptable, a 16% increase in the acceptability of having a baby out of wedlock, and a 16% increase in the acceptability of polygamy. Our experts believe all of this contributes to a growing acceptance of polyamory. Our experts also believe the seven sites on this list are playing a major role.

Polyamorous dating has never been hotter or more popular, and several niche dating sites can support the search for a hot hookup, threesome, affair, or poly relationship. Good luck!