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Mary Gorham Malia
Lipstick lesbians, or shall we say feminine-looking lesbians, have a hard time getting dates with lesbians. Most lesbians assume you’re straight and just hanging out at the lesbian bar or event.
Your beauty and your wardrobe completely confuse most lesbians. We wonder why on earth you would wear heels. They are awful, painful and downright dangerous. We also wonder how the heck you stay warm in those itty bitty outfits you are squeezed into.
Most lesbians are really intimidated by lipstick lesbians. Lesbian relationships already can be full of drama, and looking at a woman who is accentuating all things feminine can ignite a fear that the drama would be as high as those 8-inch stilettos you’re teetering around on.
Every lesbian gets to decide who she is and how she shows up in our little lesbian nation, so from the mouths of lipstick lesbians, here’s what they want us other lesbians to stop doing.
You shouldn’t say she isn’t a lesbian just because she’s ultra femme, wears makeup, really high heels and dresses, has long hair and is always considered to be straight even when she queer as the Jack of Hearts.
She’s totally playing for the girls, loves the girls and may never have even visited the boys locker room. Lipstick lesbians love their lipstick and girl’s labia.
Perhaps you could consider enjoying that she always smells great, loves being neatly coiffed up top and below and just ignore her big bag of makeup.
“She’s not any more confused
than a lesbian who is butch.”
Not all lipstick lesbians want to date butch women. Some want to date other feminine-looking lesbians. Yes, that’s for real and it can work.
The next time you see a very pretty feminine-looking woman at your lesbian bar, party or meet-up, start by being friendly and assume she plays on our team. That’s what she wants.
Unfortunately, she also assuming is the pretty women who dress feminine are also straight, so she creates some of her own problems with that one.
She’s tired of having her sexuality questioned by both sides of the gender gap. She’s tired of being hit on by men and ignored by lesbians. She’s tired of having to explain herself all the time.
As Jincey Lumpkin said in her blog on Huffington Post, she’s tired of being hit on by men and dealing with the conundrum of femme invisibility here in lesbian land or the idea pretty lesbians only exist on television.
Like any lesbian of any type, the lipstick lesbian is not looking for a man to show her what’s she’s missing or why she’s really straight and confused. She’s not any more confused than a lesbian who is butch. She’s queer and she knows it.
Next time take a chance and get to know her beyond her appearance, which though important to her, isn’t everything about who she is.
Photo source: pictureshunt.com