How to Bag a Cougar: Step 1

OK boys, I am talking to you now. You know who you are: young in body or, more importantly, at heart, sexually adventurous, eager to explore the world and interested in doing that in the company of a woman who has more experience in life than you.

To those of us more-experienced-in-life-than-you women who find ourselves happily single and similarly open to adventure, you represent a truly worthwhile encounter, whether it lasts only a few hours or extends into years.

Every time a young man and a woman come together to discover the mysteries of each other, I believe the world becomes a slightly better place.

So in the interest of facilitating more of these lovely unions, I offer my humble advice in three steps.

Approaching a cougar in the wild can indeed be a terrifying proposition. To attempt to meet one in public requires advanced skills and some experience, so let us assume you will be meeting her online.

This is an excellent way to connect with women of all kinds because the initial anonymity leaves us free to take a few risks that might be too embarrassing or time consuming in person.

To begin, you must attempt to understand this powerful creature you are hunting.

What is her nature? What does she value? How might she be different from your other conquests?

A few things you need to know about all experienced women:

• We have full lives. We do a lot with our time and we care about the things we do. We do not have time to waste.
• We have many more years of experience being seduced than you have seducing. We know every trick in the book and we can see through a ruse.
• We accept ourselves. We are independent individuals and we want to be appreciated for the things that make us unique.
• We believe our best days are ahead of us. We are aging gracefully, but if we had our druthers, we wouldn’t ever speak about the subject of our age, if you catch my drift.

So you must begin by appreciating the poised, beautiful and wise creature you aim to tame if you want to win her affections. Then you need to understand what it is you offer her.

Here are some things that make young men magnificent suitors for more experienced women. (Do you notice how I keep using the word “experienced” instead of “older”? Take note, boys.)

• You also know the best days are ahead of you. This makes you bold, adventuresome and alive. You are taking life by the horns. You are vital and we like to be around that virile energy.
• You know you still have a lot to learn. This makes you curious, exploratory and willing to try and experience new things. We love your youthful sense of wonder.
• You don’t take life too seriously. You can laugh at yourself and roll with the punches. This makes you fun to be around. We find your sense of humor charming and your spontaneity irresistible.

You are looking for someone who will appreciate your joy for life and be enlivened by your youthful exuberance and mischievousness. This has implications for how to track this creature.

What are the signs you will want to look for when you scan the field of potential conquests online?

• Unless you plan to mate for life in the near future, you may prefer women who have either already had kids or who express no desire for them. Those of us still racing the biological clock will be less willing to stray the course to play with someone not seeking the same.
• Don’t confine yourself to those who indicate an interest in casual sex. This term is a bogeyman for many of us because it means things we don’t want to imply. As women of experience, we tend to be comfortable with our bodies and interested in sharing them. But we usually don’t want to do it anonymously or expediently. We like a little romance first.
• Don’t be bound to the express age range a woman indicates. Consider sending her a message even if her lower bound is older than you. Part of the fun of dating is the surprise of it. It is worth a try! Use the Internet for what it’s good for – fairly risk-free first contact!

There is no such thing as a cougar. Everyone is an individual and every individual connection is unique.

From my own experience, I never sought a connection with a man over a decade younger than me until one specific such man pursued and won me over.

While you might like the idea of being the plaything to a woman of the world, she will not cotton to being treated as a type.

Proceed first and foremost to explore and understand the one special and rare woman before you and you are more than halfway there.

The next step in capturing a cougar: laying the trap. I’ll give you specific tips for making first contact next week.