What Is Casual Sex? Everything You Should Know

The rise of the sex-positive movement means societal attitudes are shifting in a new direction. 

Casual sex may have been frowned upon decades ago, but now, people have more freedom to embrace their sexuality. Modern singles define their sex lives on their own terms.

Casual sex is consensual sex without expectations of a romantic relationship. Thanks to sex-positive hookup apps, singles have more access to finding casual sex partners, but they may get tripped up when it comes to sealing the deal.

This article will serve as a guide to give you better insight into casual sex and how you can safely partake in it. 

Casual sex wasn’t always viewed in a positive light. Previous generations viewed sex as the sacred duty of married couples. Today, however, attitudes toward sex are much more relaxed. 

Modern singles embrace kinkiness and explore their sexuality by engaging in casual sex with no regrets.   

Historical Context

Sex outside of marriage used to carry a huge stigma. It wasn’t until the 1920s that hookups became a more widespread and accepted part of American society. The American Psychological Association theorized the surcharge of automobiles and outdoor movie theaters gave people the chance to explore their sexuality more freely. 

Even while casual sex was on the rise, it stayed under the radar in polite society until the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

Hippies challenged the conservative outlook on sex in American society. Young people started to become more sexually liberated and open-minded to having intimate relations before marriage. 

Modern Influences in Pop Culture

Pop culture has a significant influence on society’s view of casual sex –– especially for young adults and teens. The HBO show “Sex and the City” promoted sexual exploration. Songs went from covert sexuality in innuendo (“Please Please Me”) to open foreplay (“WAP”). As a result, more people are willing to take risks and act on their sexual desires. 

Despite this new era of sexual freedom, hookup culture has taken a toll on romance. With an increase of people more willing to engage in casual sex, singles are more skeptical and weary, with many wondering if finding genuine love is still possible.

This shift in perspective is another reason more people are willing to keep things casual to avoid getting hurt by wanting something more. 

Some common mental health effects of casual sex can be positive or negative. Adverse effects can include emotional distress, sexual regret, and anxiety. On the other hand, positive effects include a boost in self-esteem and sexual confidence. 

The impact of casual sex depends on your mental state and upbringing. Casual sex is not a good way for people to cope with the stress or struggles they go through because it will only negatively impact their mental health. Instead, singles should engage in casual sex when they’re in the right headspace to get the best results. 

Casual sex looks different for men and women. Unfortunately, men and women often battle stereotypes when it pertains to hooking up.  

Female Objectification or Empowerment

Women once were wrongfully labeled as slutty if they acted on their sexual desires. As women became more bold with their sexuality, people would objectify them rather than take their sexual appetite seriously. 

In the wake of the sex positive movement, women have reclaimed their sexuality by initiating hookups and creating safe spaces for female sexual discussions. 

Male Pressure to Perform

The sad truth is that society expects men to always want sex. This sort of entitlement is overwhelming and places massive pressure on men’s sex life. Pressure to perform can cause a man to feel emasculated if they say no and self-conscious while performing if they say yes. 

Gay Hookup Culture

For decades, same-sex relationships between men were heavily frowned upon or even criminalized. As a result, much of gay dating culture has traditionally revolved around discrete, often casual relationships. 

To this day, apps like Grindr encourage casual flings between gay men, while gay dating apps for serious relationships or friendships are few and far between.

While long-term, same-sex relationships are nothing new, the LGBTQ+ community lacks a lot of the dating infrastructure and support that straight couples take for granted. This can leave many gay men feeling frustrated as they look for a committed relationship. 

Casual sex comes with its fair share of pros and cons. Not everyone will be down for a no-strings-attached relationship –– and that’s OK. Looking at the pros and cons can help you decide whether it’s even a route you want to go down. 

Pro: Freedom to Explore 

With casual sex, you don’t have to worry about being tied down (unless you’re into that). Having multiple partners grants you the opportunity to try new things in the bedroom with people who may have different experiences from you.

Whereas with one partner, people sometimes feel limited sexually –– especially if their partner is inexperienced.

Con: Lack of Stability 

Even if you’re a regular at nightclubs and active on hookup apps, there’s no telling when you’ll find your next fling. People can be flaky and unreliable when it’s a booty call or a one-night stand. If you’re looking for something consistent, you’ll quickly get tired of the casual dating scene. 

Pro: Focus on Self

Casual sex can be a great way to focus on yourself and your needs. Sexuality is a big part of who we are, and taking the time to learn that part of yourself is rewarding. It’s during casual sex that you can discover your sexual desires, kinks, and what works for you in the bedroom. 

Con: Misunderstandings and Hurt Feelings

If things aren’t clear from the beginning of a hookup, it can cause a lot of misunderstandings about where the relationship stands. Regardless of relationship status, sex is an intimate act.

Even if you aren’t pursuing a relationship, you or your sexual partner can catch feelings that can cause someone to get hurt at the end of the day. 

Pro: Kink Community

Many people celebrate and embrace sexual liberation. Kink communities are one of many resources that offer support for people’s sex lives. Whatever you’re into, you can find ease in knowing that someone out there shares the same interests as you. 

Con: STI & Health Risks 

Having more than one partner comes with more health risks. Casual sex can get reckless and lead to irresponsible behavior. If you’re not safe, you can encounter STIs and different health problems that can change your life forever. 

Things don’t have to be awkward when looking for a hookup. You don’t want to come on too strong, but you don’t have to beat around the bush either. 

1. Communicate Intentions Early On

When looking for a hookup, you must share your intentions from the very beginning. People who don’t do this often end up disappointed to find out they’re incompatible with someone they thought was a match. Ask questions like:

• What are you looking for in your dating life?
• Do you mind not being exclusive?
• Do you have any fantasies or kinks I should know about?

By being upfront, you’ll avoid any differences early on and match with people who are looking for the same things you are.

Communicating your intentions early on ensures no one’s feelings are hurt. You don’t want to make anyone think your relationship with them is more than it is. 

2. Seek Positive Consent (No Gray Areas)

Casual sex requires consent on both ends. Regardless if you feel like you’re on the same page with someone, you should always ask for permission before proceeding with any sexual act. Anything communicated other than a yes should be treated as a no. 

3. Always Practice Safe Sex

Safe sex should be your number one priority. One night of fun needn’t have long-term consequences. 

Unwanted pregnancies and STIs can result in unprotected sex. There are plenty of clinics that offer free condoms and different birth control options to choose from. 

4. Get Tested Regularly 

Getting tested after having sexual relations with a new partner is the best possible way to make sure you’re safe from any STD or STI. 

It’s recommended that sexually active people should get tested after every new partner or every three to six months if they only have a single partner.  

Hooking up is no longer a shameful act. Today’s hookup culture has benefited people who aren’t ready for monogamous relationships or a big commitment.

Single people have the right to keep things casual and explore their sexuality without jumping into a serious relationship. 

Navigating casual relationships isn’t always easy, especially if you’re looking for partners online. For the best experience, continue to practice casual dating etiquette and be open-minded. And you never know; maybe your casual fling can become something more!