Bdsm Dating Sites

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15 Best BDSM Dating Sites (100% Free to Try)

Amber Brooks
Amber Brooks Updated:
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BDSM dating sites gives single people the chance to explore their fantasies and find someone who has similar kinks and fetishes.

For BDSM enthusiasts, dating isn’t about about flowers, chocolates, and wine — it’s about whips, handcuffs, and blindfolds. As Urban Dictionary describes it, BDSM stands for bondage, dominance/discipline, submission/sadism, and masochism. All it takes is the right partner to help singles live out those fantasies.

In this article, we’ve reviewed the 15 leading dating sites that cater to the BDSM community. These sites offer a safe, trustworthy place to explore the nuances of pleasure and pain with kinky people who understand your fetishes, quirks, and darkest desires. And, best of all, these free fetish sites won’t punish your wallet, so you can flirt for free.

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BeNaughty kicks off our list because it’s one of the longest running hookup sites (founded in 2000), it has a large audience (13.3 monthly visitors), signing up is free, and it uses SSL encryption to protect its users. Singles and couples are welcome to create a profile, browse for and receive matches based on their preferences, and flirt and communicate in a number of ways.

Meeting people for some kinky fun is what Adult Friend Finder is all about, and it’s been that way since the free site launched in 1998. You’ve got people who are into BDSM, threesomes, swinging, cheating, one-night stands, fetishes, and so many other sexual activities. Just upload your information and photos, and then get to know your matches through instant messaging, videos, group forums, and private emails.

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FriendFinder-X — you can probably get the gist of this site by its name. Here, you can find turned-on friends for X-rated encounters, and you won’t have to pay anything to do so. All FriendFinder-X asks for is your gender, relationship status, the gender you’re interested in, location, email address, and username, among other things. Then the ball is in your court.

Lesbian women often struggle on mainstream hookup sites and apps because those platforms often don’t know how to meet their needs, and that’s where LesbianPersonals comes in. You no longer have to worry about being matched with dudes (even though you specified that you’re lesbian) or deal with annoying messages and unsolicited dick pics. You can comfortably and confidently browse through the millions of lovely ladies until you find one (or two or three) who catch your eye.

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Not only does MenNation cater to gay men, but the casual personals site also caters to bisexual men, queer men, trans men, and men who just want to explore their sexuality. You don’t have to put in payment information to fill out a profile, upload several photos, view and like profiles, receive match suggestions every day, and flirt through a variety of features.

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Ashley Madison is where you can find affairs, dates, swinging relationships, NSA relationships, hookups, and almost any other sexual encounter you can think of. Since 2002, Ashley Madison has been a leader in dating discretion. The affair dating site doesn’t charge for registration, browsing, match recommendations, and communication (e.g., receiving messages). However, Ashley Madison does have a paid membership plan for those who are serious about taking their kink to the next level and turning a fantasy into reality.

URL: https://ashleymadison.com/

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Flirt.com is a free hookup website where your fetish fantasies can come true. Don’t feel self-conscious about expressing yourself because this is a judgment-free and sex-positive environment. More than 70 million people worldwide have created a dating profile on Flirt.com (which is free) and started messaging cuties online (also free). Plus, the search filters make it easy to find a potential date and/or sex partner who is your type. Let the flirting begin!

8

BDSM Date

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BDSM Date focuses on connecting kinky singles and kinky couples with sexy strangers in their area, and it has done a bang up job. Free members have access to the profiles of millions of men and women of various ages (all 18+, though), genders, sexual orientations, ethnicities, backgrounds, and cultures to choose from. You can browse by type of encounter, roles you want to play (or want someone else to play), and so many other things — it’s totally free on BDSM Date. This dating website also features premium options, including chat rooms and video broadcasts where men and women engage in an imaginative array of kinky activities.

URL: https://bdsmdate.com/

9

ALT

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ALT is a great fetish dating platform for singles who enjoy living alternative lifestyles, including a BDSM lifestyle. The adult dating site has been facilitating sex dates for 20+ years and has grown to more than 600,000 active monthly users. ALT offers a free membership as well as member blog posts and links to other alternative sex communities online. Signing up only takes a minute or two, and you have quick yes-no questions as well as more in-depth questions to answer.

URL: https://alt.com/

10

Match BDSM

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Match BDSM is the self-proclaimed “best bondage and submissive dating site,” and the site promises if you join (which is free), you’ll have thousands of local singles and couples to talk to. It’s also free to send flirts and IMs to show interest as well as add people to your Favorites list. Users who are new to the BDSM community or online dating in general can check out this BDSM site’s Online Safety Tips section on the Help page, which offers advice for finding dates, arranging local hookups, and have a positive dating experience. Match BDSM is a hot spot for kinky dating, so don’t hold anything back when you create your dating profile here.

URL: https://www.matchbdsm.com/

11

FetLife

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Created in 2008 by kinksters for kinksters, FetLife characterizes itself as a fetish dating site as well as a social media network (like Facebook but for fetishes). The desktop version as well as the Android app are both free, and you can access a ton of search and communication tools. FetLife has over 6.5 million kinky personals, making it one of the largest sites in the kink community.

URL: https://fetlife.com/

BDSM Dating Only has been listed among the most popular BDSM dating sites on many reviews sites. The team says, “We offer easy access to a wide range of BDSM dating services. You can be a part of the active blog community, go through interesting magazine articles; enjoy masturbatory video streams, chat rooms, and instant messages.” If you have any problems, the customer service team can be reached via phone and email 24/7.

URL: https://www.bdsmdatingonly.com/

13

Bondage Pal

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“Ropes but no strings” is Bondage Pal’s motto, and the hookup site promises all of its members are real, every feature is actually 100% free, and it’ll only take you 60 seconds to become a member. In addition to the dating portion of the BDSM sex site, check out Bondage Pal’s comprehensive blog section, where you can read articles about all kinds of kink topics, read erotic stories, and learn more about the ever-changing dating community. Bondage Pal was designed to help a dominant woman find a submissive man, and it could connect you to your next bondage partner for free.

URL: https://bondagepal.com/

14

BDSM Singles

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BDSM Singles provides new users with a free trial, including live webcam shows and Rapid Match (which is kind of like Tinder where you swipe right if you like the person and left if you don’t), to really get a feel for the site before fully joining. The website welcomes kinky people who are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, and queer. The BDSM dating site’s other demographics include 67% male members, 33% female members, and 86% of users are between 35 and 55.

URL: https://www.bdsmsingles.com/

MY BDSM Hookups says its mission is to “bring together local mistresses and men who want nothing more than to become slaves.” If that sounds like something you’re interested in, sign up — you’re automatically given a free account that won’t expire. My BDSM Hookups is headquartered in the United Kingdom, and the team can be reached through snail mail, telephone, and the dating site’s contact form.

URL: https://mybdsmhookups.com/

FAQs: What’s the Best Dating App for BDSM Singles?

KinkD is one of the most popular and highly rated dating apps for BDSM enthusiasts seeking a partner. The dating app allows free members to anonymously like one another, but it restricts users from sending unlimited messages without the other person’s say-so. By that, we mean only mutual matches can chat on KinkD. This keeps things respectful and safe for everyone, so new users don’t have to worry about receiving spam messages or creepy overtures.

Plus, KinkD has a Pattern Lock feature so that singles can set a secret unlock code and make sure no one goes snooping on their phone and looking through their kinky matches.

Which BDSM Dating Website is Legit?

We’ve listed a lot of different dating sites and apps for BDSM singles, and many of them to an absolutely great job at tantalizing, teasing, and targeting different fetishes. But do they actually work? Some have gotten mixed reviews. We’ve heard complaints about paid membership fees, fake profiles, misleading advertising, and so much more, and the BDSM community doesn’t deserve to be strung along with false promises from fetish sites.

So, which BDSM dating website can legitimately set local singles up for success and introduce them to a sexual partner? The answer has to be Adult Friend Finder.

★★★★
3.5/5.0

Relationships: Hookups Only

Match System: Search by location, interest, more

Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn't about making friends, it's about short-term "hookups" and affairs only. Note that a basic account costs $14.95/month, but it's well worth it if casual sex is your goal...”

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Adult Friend Finder has been overseeing and dominating the casual dating space for decades now, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all. The adult dating site has over 100 million kinky personals available for your perusal, and it also features sexy videos, an erotic stories blog, and discussion groups organized by sexual kinks.

This kinky community is open to people of every sexual orientation and gender identity, and BDSM enthusiasts should find plenty of legit sexy dates here.

Where Can I Meet a Submissive Woman?

If you want to date a woman who is beautiful, loving, and submissive, then the average dating site may not satisfy your sexual desires or do your fantasies justice. The average person may not understand the lingo of the BDSM community or be open to the idea of exploring BDSM relationships. That’s why bondage, fetish, and alternative dating sites have begun cropping up.

Instead of hoping that hottie on the dance floor is into ropes and leather, you can go on a BDSM dating site and proactively search for submissive dates who have the same kinks you do and are seeking a potential partner to tie them up. Dominant singles can take control of their love lives by going to a niche dating site or dating app where it doesn’t take much convincing to get a girl into handcuffs.

Can I Use OkCupid to Find a BDSM Partner?

OkCupid isn’t technically a BDSM dating site, but it does foster an inclusive dating network with millions of open-minded and kinky singles, so it’s worth creating a free profile to up your odds of making the perfect match. Communication is 100% free on OkCupid, but two people must like each other’s profile to create an open dialogue — without a like, you won’t get past the first message.

Screenshot of OkCupid

OkCupid is a free dating site where people of all orientations and backgrounds are welcome.

In 2004, OkCupid took online dating to the next level by offering data-driven matchmaking based on thousands of (optional) personal questions and in-depth profile information. Kinky singles can disclose their sexual proclivities and experience in the questions section, and this information will be tabulated into the compatibility rating they’ll see on every profile.

This smart matchmaking system has led to more than 91 million connections every year and about 50,000 dates every week, and it doesn’t cost anything to get into the game and find a potential partner here.

BDSM Sites Will Make You Hurt So Good

BDSM may not be for everyone, and that’s OK. Contrary to what some people think, this community isn’t about forcing anyone to do things they’re not comfortable with — it’s about trusting your sexual partners and embracing your inner desires. For doms, it can be about taking control, and for subs, it can be about letting go and feeling safe in someone else’s care.

Plenty of kinky people are turned on by whips, handcuffs, and blindfolds, but not everyone has the courage to explore those feelings by creating a BDSM dating profile. For singles and couples looking to explore their sexuality and find kinky playmates, this list of BDSM dating sites can really help you spice things up. So why don’t you start at the top and work your way down. And, remember, play safely!

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