What Are Online Dating Matches? How Algorithms Pair Potential Partners

Every time my phone buzzes, I’m hit with a zing of anticipation. 

Yes, I’ve fallen down the Hinge rabbit hole once again. If any of you have experienced the dating app vortex, then you know exactly how it feels when you get a match. Online dating matches mean you have been digitally paired with someone else on the platform.

Every notification could alert you that you’ve matched with your soulmate. You’re flooded with excitement, nervousness, and curiosity, all at once. Could this be the time it actually works? Most of the time, the answer is no. 

I know all too well how dating apps can go from encouraging to disappointing in one sitting. It’s easy to get frustrated when an online match doesn’t pan out. Or worse, if you don’t get any matches at all. 

But there’s always hope. You can improve your dating profile — and your chances of getting a strong match — when you learn how to make the algorithms work in your favor. 

Types of Matches | How It Works | Influencing Factors | Challenges | Tips

As a college student, online dating matches dominated my conversations with friends. One friend racked up a ton of matches on Tinder, while another complained about a dry spell on Hinge with no exciting prospects on her dating horizon. 

One thing in common between all the online daters I know: nobody actually knows how online dating algorithms work. 

The matchmaking algorithm is the lifeblood of any dating app.

A dating platform’s algorithm matches users based on preferences for age, gender, hobbies, and other criteria. Once users set these preferences in their profiles, the algorithm filters out any potential matches that don’t meet the criteria. Thus paving the way for more meaningful matches with people who check all (or most of) the boxes.

Understanding the nuances of dating app matches can help you select the perfect app for your dating goals. Different apps offer different types of matches that range from psychologically backed to completely unscientific but awfully fun.

1. Mutual Matches

The simplest type of dating app match was created by Tinder in 2012. Mutual matches are pretty self-explanatory: Users have to like each other’s profiles before they can chat.

Personally, I would argue a mutual match is the most exciting type of match. It’s the online equivalent of locking eyes with a cute stranger across the room and thinking, “I have to get to know this person.” Better yet, the person on the other end of the match thought the same thing about you. 

Mutual matches mean two people have a mutual desire to connect. Apps that employ mutual matches are typically described as swipe-based. Tinder and Bumble are examples of apps that use mutual matching and require both users to swipe right for a match to be created. 

2. Compatibility Matches

Compatibility matches use the power of an algorithm to guide users to likely dates. The dating site or app promotes smart matches based on an assessment of user preferences and profile compatibility.

This is why it’s so important to be specific about your interests on your profile. If you’re passionate about competitive cycling, the algorithm can connect you with someone who is equally athletic. The algorithm picks up on your values. 

Dating site eharmony is a great example. This values-driven dating service uses a personality questionnaire to create compatibility matches. This questionnaire was devised by psychologists and identifies a person’s core values, interests, and relationship goals. 

Match uses an advanced match algorithm with decades of experience behind it. Its compatibility matchmaking takes user preferences and behavior patterns into account when suggesting matches. 

It’s not just the old-school dating apps using compatibility matches either. A new dating app called Iris relies on compatibility matching powered by AI to deepen connections.

3. Suggested Matches

Similar to compatibility matches, the suggested matches list comes courtesy of the dating platform’s algorithm. But these recommendations aren’t necessarily all about compatibility. Sometimes the app offers popular profiles or matches that are similar enough that they might just get along.

These recommendations can be based on various factors, including user activity and preferences. 

I usually keep my expectations in check when I peruse a dating app’s recommendations. Sure, there’s always a chance of stumbling upon your soulmate. But it’s like a box of chocolates: random and a little nutty.

Hinge suggests potential matches in the Standouts feed, which requires users to use one of their limited roses to match. It’s a costly move, but the goal is to have daters invest in one another.

4. Search Criteria Matches

If you have specific dating preferences — for instance, wanting to date individuals of certain political parties, sexualities, genders, education levels, or even heights — you can filter potential matches by search criteria. 

Most popular dating websites have search criteria that allow users to navigate the dating pool based on their dealbreakers and desires. 

I usually feel more comfortable knowing that I’m only going to connect with people who share my values and preferences. There’s nothing worse than getting excited about a date only to discover that they disagree with you on a fundamental issue. The only thing worse is if you make this discovery before you’ve even ordered an appetizer!

On Tinder and Bumble, users can set preferences for criteria such as age, gender, and distance. Hinge goes even further by offering premium search filters for education level, political views, and drinking habits. Match allows users to filter matches based on lifestyle choices and values. 

OkCupid takes it even further with search features for keywords, interest-based tags, and specific answers to personality quiz questions.

The intoxicating swipe-cycle of apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble makes it difficult to stay away. Each app’s algorithm matches you with someone who shares your interests or is intrigued by your profile. And sometimes, all it takes is a cute profile pic to get a match.

Getting good compatible matches on a dating app doesn’t just come down to luck. Dating algorithms collect, process, and analyze large quantities of data to suggest the best possible matches.  

Step 1: Data Collection

Popular dating services collect data from users to improve the matching experience. Data collection varies app by app, but some common precepts remain the same. The signup process starts with basic profile information, including age, gender identity, and location. 

Some apps also require personal details regarding education, interests, and romantic goals. All this data will be taken into consideration when making matches. 

Collecting data goes deeper than what’s on your profile — apps look at behavioral data, like   swiping patterns and profile views.  Apps like Tinder, for example, have the ability to analyze a user’s profile photos and display the most popular ones first. Activity metrics also factor into the matchmaking process. 

Apps can change strategy depending on how frequently users log in and how long they stay active on the app. The more active users tend to show up more often in match and swipe lists.

Step 2: Smart Algorithms Make Suggestions

Once user data is collected, app algorithms process the information and make match recommendations. Some apps use collaborative filtering that aims to predict user preferences based on the preferences of similar users. The system recommends profiles based on the mutual interests of similar types of people. 

Other apps look at the dating profile content and suggest potential matches based on keywords that indicate common interests. For instance, if you mention in your bio that you love to play basketball, the app may suggest other profiles that talk about basketball. 

Most apps use a combination of these two types of algorithms to suggest as many high-quality matches as possible to daters. 

Step 3: Learning From User Behavior

Algorithms are far from fixed — apps constantly learn from experience and refine their algorithms based on user behavior. Many dating platforms use A/B testing to test different algorithms or features on a small group of users. 

The system is designed to learn from user interactions, such as likes and messages, and adjust recommendations in real time. If a user tends to reject a certain type of profile, the algorithm will reduce the frequency with which it shows similar profiles. 

User feedback is also taken into consideration in some cases. Hinge, for example, solicits feedback from users by asking those who exchanged contact information if they went on a date and if they plan on going on a second date 

Surely, today’s top-notch dating apps will make finding a compatible date a piece of cake, right? 

As you swipe through your dating app of choice with dizzying speed, you’re met with an influx of amazing matches. 

This woman is a scientific researcher who hikes on the weekend! This guy is an elementary school teacher who collects rare books! And look, this professional breakdancer speaks three languages! Such diversity, such uniqueness, such fascinating people, all in your tri-state area! 

Except… the scientific researcher isn’t interested in a serious relationship. The elementary school teacher is drier than one of his ancient textbooks. And the trilingual breakdancer looked nothing like their profile picture. Well, back to the virtual drawing board. Only this time, there are no matches to be found. Where did all the interesting people go?!

Complex algorithms weigh a ton of factors to keep the matches from drying out.

1. Profile Information

Profile information helps users quickly gauge their compatibility with new people, and this data also helps the app learn how to recommend successful matches. 

User-provided information is vital to determining matches because it distinguishes different types of daters from one another. Daters may have a specific age range or gender they’re interested in, for example. They can use filters to focus on the types of dates they like most. 

If apps didn’t require user-provided information, building compatible matches would be pretty much impossible. 

Profile information helps daters make decisions on whether to like or swipe right on another profile. Don’t want to go out with somebody who attended your rival college? Profiles that include university information make that easy. 

More importantly, daters looking for a serious relationship can look to profiles to disclose intentions and identify other serious daters. If somebody’s profile says they are looking for casual sex, the serious dater immediately knows to reject them. The same applies to casual daters looking to hook up and avoid serious commitments. 

2. Behavioral Data

Behavior data collected by apps can influence online dating matches. Apps learn from your likes, swipes, and super likes to suggest better matches. 

Whether an individual likes or dislikes another profile can clue the platform into their preferences, teaching the algorithm to prioritize certain types of profiles. If you consistently reject users who are taller than six feet, the algorithm will reduce its suggestions of tall people.

Messaging data can also provide insights into user behavior. If you’re more likely to engage with profiles that open with a “you’re so gorgeous” message, the app may suggest more people who engage with other profiles in your preferred manner. 

I’m more receptive to a funny pickup line than an insincere compliment. Luckily for me, the app can send plenty of jokesters my way. 

A little bit of research can help you understand how to adjust your behavior on apps to reap the benefits of the algorithm. According to research done by OkCupid, shorter messages are most likely to get a response, and opening with a comment about a person’s appearance isn’t usually successful. 

If you’re having good conversations in the dating app, you’re more likely to be shown to more people you’ll hit it off with!

3. Machine Learning

Machine learning is one of those complicated-sounding artificial intelligence terms tech bros use all the time. Luckily, it’s not actually that complicated. 

Machine learning algorithms analyze huge amounts of data to improve match quality over time by learning from a user’s profile data and behavioral patterns. 

Machine learning models detect patterns and personalize suggestions based on how users interact on dating apps. The longer you stick with a dating app, the better the app will get to know you and your preferences. That means more tailored matches chilling your way.

Machine learning models even work with image recognition in some apps. The system analyses profile photos to identify visual preferences and common visual features between matches. If you love tall men with dark hair, the app will eventually catch on. 

This type of algorithm makes the online dating experience more personal and engaging, paving the way for more successful connections and higher compatibility — and ideally combatting swiping fatigue and online dating burnout.

It may not come as much surprise when I tell you that dating app algorithms aren’t flawless. Artificial intelligence content generated by ChatGPT has been known to omit information and even make up fake people and events! 

It’s wise to approach online dating algorithms with some healthy skepticism.

Online dating isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Apps and sites come with plenty of drawbacks that can impede your success and negatively impact your mental health.

Accuracy

Sometimes apps will suggest a user who is absolutely not your type, which can be surprising when you’ve used the app for a long time. 

Beyond errors on the part of algorithms and AI, individuals might have misleading profiles that present outdated photos or inaccurate interests. The algorithm might suggest such a profile to you thinking that you’re a perfect fit, but once you start talking, you realize that their profile is false advertising. 

This is why it’s so important to hold even a small conversation before agreeing to go on a date. Be skeptical when another profile looks like an uncannily good match — it may be too good to be true!

eharmony uses a detailed questionnaire to gather profile information to make good matches, but it is less effective when users answer questions inaccurately.

While algorithms may be flawed, apps that don’t rely on compatibility algorithms can also create mismatches. Tinder is great for basic matching, for example, but its reliance on profile photos may not be super effective for creating deeply compatible matches. 

User Expectations

User expectations can cause problems when individuals have lofty goals and the reality of the app doesn’t live up to their vision board. People might expect immediate matches who share common interests and common goals. They might be looking for perfection and feel disappointed by reality.

Some might have expected more attractive matches than they are seeing. Sorry, Blake Lively is happily married, and we’re all just human on the apps. 

Clinging to unrealistic dating app expectations — like matching with a supermodel or movie star — can ruin your dating experience and affect your perception of matches. 

This is why it’s so important to provide accurate profile information, give the app feedback, and be patient. As the app learns about a user’s preferences and dating interests, its suggestions can gradually improve. 

Key in mind: Bad matches have nothing to do with one’s attractiveness; it just comes down to basic machine-learning science!

Bias Against Minorities 

Algorithms can perpetuate racial and gender stereotypes and biases. Of course, there’s a difference between racial and gender bias and racial and gender preference. The problem is that algorithms aren’t always sophisticated enough to know this. 

Algorithms exclusively present suggested matches that align with user likes. Sociologist Apryl Williams, who teaches at the University of Michigan, researched sexual racism in online dating and found that most dating apps rely on the white, heteronormative standards of attraction and desirability. 

An OkCupid 2014 study backed these claims when it found that users rated Asian men and Black women as less attractive than their white counterparts. This normalization of sexual racism and sexism can contribute to the fetishization of these minority groups. In case you don’t know, to fetishize a person means desiring them solely because of their foreign background or sexual identity.

Keep this human bias in mind as you navigate the online dating landscape. A study by Cornell researchers recommended dating apps be redesigned to lessen racial bias. We’ve seen evidence of systemic bias in dating app culture. The question is what you do about it.

Well, the least you can do is keep this in mind when you search and swipe on the apps. Every move you make is monitored by the algorithm, so your choices can impact the dating landscape. Keep an open mind, and if you notice that certain racial groups are represented more frequently (or with more respect) than others, contact the app’s support or security team. 

A lot goes into creating great matches, and knowing what the AI looks for can help you maximize your odds of success. Here are some expert tips to make your online dating experience even better.

1. Optimize Your Dating Profile

One upside to the algorithmic nature of dating apps: you can optimize your dating profile to get better results.

Present yourself clearly by choosing photos that flatter you. Good lighting is super important, as is showing an unobscured face — otherwise, people will wonder what you’re hiding underneath the hat or sunglasses! 

Share the important information, but don’t overshare. Less is more when it comes to meeting strangers online. 

Successful dating app bios are honest and engaging. Be specific about what you’re looking for in a partner. Online daters are attracted to positive language, so avoid trashing your ex or being overly self-deprecating. Put your best self forward in your profile, and you’re sure to attract great matches. 

2. Actively Engage With Matches

It goes without saying that you should strike up a conversation with your match to keep them engaged, but people often report that their matches never reply to their messages. 

If you don’t want to be ghosted, start an interesting conversation by asking good questions. 

Ask your match about something in their profile photos or something they mentioned in their bio. People love talking about themselves. 

If they respond positively a few times, ask them out! Don’t dawdle. The longer you wait to message or propose a date, the more likely your match is to lose interest. Remember, there are millions of other profiles out there in the online dating world — make yourself stand out!

3. Keep an Open-Minded Attitude

Open-mindedness is key to successful dating. Sure, maybe you never envisioned yourself dating somebody who lives in another city — but if the conversation is good and you seem compatible, a long-distance match could be just what you need. 

Flexibility is an asset in online dating. If your date is busy or slow to respond, show some grace and be understanding when it comes to other people’s lives. Don’t risk throwing away a great connection over a small issue.

When in doubt, go on the date. If you get a good vibe from somebody online, there’s no reason not to give it a shot. Who knows? You could learn things you never knew about your sexuality, your interests, and your dating goals. 

Modern dating apps can give rise to amazing connections and open doors for daters who would not have met otherwise. You can meet someone from a new city.  You can meet somebody who has the same niche interest as you. You could stumble upon somebody you crushed on years ago and finally get a chance to shoot your shot.

Great connections can come when you least expect them. I can’t even count the number of friends I know who downloaded Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge for fun and unexpectedly found love. 

If you want to find “The One,” you’ve got to be open to all sorts of connections. Trust in the algorithm and trust the process! If your online matches seem random, just know it’s driven by scientific data and ever-evolving methods. With time, the algorithm will learn more about you and suggest more compatible matches.