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Looking for a dating site you can trust? Search no more.
I love In-N-Out’s secret sauce. I know it’s basically Thousand Island, but it’s amazing. I could drink it like water, and I don’t care how disgusting that sounds. I’ve tried replicating the sauce myself, but I’ve never gotten it to taste quite the same. There are just some ingredients to it that I can’t put my finger on.
The same goes for eHarmony. We’re all familiar with the dating site — it’s been around since 2000, after all. We’ve seen the commercials, heard the jingle, and know a friend or a friend of a friend who has used the site or even found love on it. But what remains a mystery to some singles is exactly how eHarmony does its matching. Well, we’re here to let you in on the site’s secret sauce.
The first step to kick off the matching process is to fill out eHarmony’s 29 Dimensions® of Compatibility Matching Questionnaire — which was created by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, an American clinical psychologist, Christian theologian, and seminary professor who also co-founded the site. It takes about an hour to complete the questionnaire, and eHarmony says it covers deeper topics than what you’ll find on most other dating sites, including self concept, adaptability, and vitality and security.
Here are some of the questions you can expect to answer:
As you can see, eHarmony doesn’t just ask your standard yes-or-no questions, so you’re more likely to find your perfect match on the site. For more information about the kinds of questions eHarmony could ask you, check out our article here.
When you’re responding to eHarmony’s questions, you’ll want to take your time and really think about your answers — don’t just type the first thing that comes to your mind. The site uses this information when it’s scouring its user base for potential dates and partners who fit your criteria. Obviously, eHarmony won’t disclose every single detail about how the algorithm works, but we can safely assume that what you tell them plays the biggest role.
Every day, you’ll want to log into eHarmony and take a look at the matches the site has sent you. You can expect to receive a handful of suggestions or so, and then the ball is in your court.
These Daily Matches give you a chance to review compatible members and see if eHarmony hit the nail on the head (they probably did). You’ll see the person’s photos, age, location, height, occupation, education level, religion, political standing, and smoking and drinking habits, among other traits, interests, and identifiers.
Perhaps the most impressive and important part of the profiles eHarmony sends you is that the site shows you several percentages for how compatible you two are. For example, you could be 90% compatible on an intellectual level, 91% compatible on how you view exclusivity, and 92% compatible on how you rate physical intimacy in a relationship (as you can see in the picture above).
Once you decide whether you’re interested in the person or not, you can start communicating with them, or you can pass. eHarmony’s flirting and messaging features are also unique. You can go ahead and send standard messages if you want, but, if you’re not sure how to kick off the conversation, the site offers pre-written icebreakers (e.g., “Your profile brought a smile to my face!”) and quick questions (e.g., “How often do you lose your temper?”).
To get to know your matches even better, eHarmony recommends using its patented Guided Communication process. First, you’ll exchange five multiple-choice questions from a list of 57 (e.g., “Do you enjoy debating the issues of the day with your partner?”). Next, you’ll exchange several must-haves and can’t-stands to see what you agree and disagree on. It’s easy, quick, fun, and insightful!
Another aspect about eHarmony’s matching options is that you can’t search on your own. A lot of people enjoy that because they don’t have to do any work, and it relieves some of the pressure and stress. If that’s not your thing, you can always check out other sites, like Match and Zoosk, white allow you to browse through profiles and make filtered searches yourself.
In-N-Out’s secret sauce will always be a favorite of mine, even if I can’t create a copycat recipe that’s 100% on point. I’ve accepted that there are some things in life that I’m just never going to know. That holds true for eHarmony’s matching system as well. We don’t really need to know how it works — we just need to know that it does. We know for a fact eHarmony works because the site is responsible for 4% of US marriages. You could be next!