Money And Dating

Gay Dating

Money and Dating

Jonathan Welford

Written by: Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford is a dating and relationship coach, author of three relationship coaching books and regular columnist. He heads up a coaching and therapy practice specializing in dating and relationships. He lives in the UK with his husband and their English bulldog named Lola.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Money can be a very contentious issue when you’re dating, and money can be the main cause for a relationship breakup, whether through a disparity between the people in the relationship or a complete lack of funds.

When we first enter a relationship, the money sense in us is pretty much switched off.

We can make extravagant gestures, buy meals out in fancy restaurants, give bouquets of flowers and enjoy weekends in luxury resorts.

That’s all great until the credit card bill hits the doormat. Then the quietened money sense is awakened from its sleep and erupts in full technicolor.

The celebrity lifestyle comes to an abrupt end and the 15 minutes of fame has passed by, making you feel like a reality television star that has reached their expiration date.

This is when a relationship becomes real. The honeymoon is over and now it’s time to focus on being a couple.

If you are living together, there are some key things to work around.

1. Have one income for saving and one income for spending.

This is what works with me and my husband to stretch our family budget.

“Romance is all about showing someone you care

about them. Money is just the glittery wrapper.”


All the household costs, groceries and meals out are paid for with one income, and the other one is saved for holidays, big ticket items and a rainy day.

2. Don’t approach financial matters as a battle.

It’s best to approach it in a logical, methodical and nonthreatening manner.

3. Be honest about what your resources are.

Hiding a loan or a credit card will only come back to bite you at a later stage (as will hiding a savings account).

4. Have some fun money.

Use this money for coffees and snacks and general expenses during the week.

5. Decide on individual and shared goals with money.

When you’ve paid off a debt or joint savings have reached a certain level, then have a treat and reward your good work.

If you are dating someone and living independently of each other, then a shared income is out of the equation. If your finances are stretched, then speak honestly about the financial situation.

The solution is not to get another line of credit to keep up the lifestyle until you end up in bankruptcy.

If you are worried your boyfriend will dump you if you don’t have any spare cash, then are they worth being with?

You can still date someone on a budget – romance is not the preserve of the rich and famous. Romance is all about showing someone you care about them. Money is just the glittery wrapper.

If the relationship has the consistency of a dog turd, then it doesn’t matter how much glitter you roll it in – it will still stink!

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