Should I Ask To Kiss Her

Men's Dating

Should I Ask to Kiss Her?

Leon Scott Baxter

Written by: Leon Scott Baxter

Leon Scott Baxter

Leon Scott Baxter, "America's Relationship Guru," is the founder of and the author of three books on love, romance and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Some guys just have a knack for going in for the first kiss. They can see something in her eyes. Their timing is impeccable. There must be a look or a tilt of the head that indicates a first kiss is appropriate.

I’ve never been one of these guys.

When I was dating, I was the guy who thought he could tell when it was time for that kiss.

Then, as I made my move, there would be a little voice in my head that would say (no, scream), “Don’t do it! You are wrong and an idiot! She doesn’t want to kiss you. She’s not smiling. It’s a twitch. That’s not a gleam in her eye. She’s squinting.”
Inevitably, as I leaned in for the kiss, said voice would have me continue to move forward all the way down to my shoes. I would feign a shoelace tying, bound back up and give a high five or something else on the lame spectrum.
Of course, I would replay the moment in my head for the next three weeks, kicking myself and that little voice in my head because apparently upon review, it would become obvious she wanted said missed kiss.

There’s a third type of first kisser as well. He’s the guy who thinks like the first guy, but he needs to have a voice in his head like mine because he dives right in when she is having none of that.

 “I decided to instill the help

of the women themselves.”

What’s a fella to do?

Well, since I am not a natural when it comes to first kisses, I decided to instill the help of the experts – the women themselves.
My unscientific study revealed women want a guy to make the first move…unless, of course, they don’t (see, this is where that voice in my head gets its fuel.)
Women say if you are cute, funny, charming and cool, then by all means lean in and kiss away – but not too early in the date.
And although some would like that first kiss at the end of the date, many claim they would like it earlier so there is that excitement in the air the rest of the date.
Now if you are not cute but funny, charming and maybe a bit cool, a kiss is fine – but only at the end of the date.
If you are dorky in a cute way and cute in a dorky way, that is charming in itself. You’ll have to be terribly witty, but you have what it takes for a first kiss – just not on a first date.
You’ll have to wait until the second date. Don’t wait until the third because that’s too long, but don’t kiss at the beginning of the second date because that’s too early.
You’ll have to make your move somewhere between two-thirds of the second date and the end of the night.
If, on the other hand, you are a jerk, have no sense of humor and look a bit strange, by all means do not attempt a pucker…unless, of course, you’ve got that bad boy thing down, in which case, you can and should kiss sometime during the first half of the first date.

According to my research:

Everyone else should never attempt to kiss a woman…unless she initiates it. But that’s a different story.
I hope I have cleared up the whole first kiss thing for you, fellas. I wish someone had written something like this for me when I was dating.

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