The 1 Thing We Need More Of In Our Dating Lives

Women's Dating

The #1 Thing We Need More of in Our Dating Lives

Rachel Dack

Written by: Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem. To connect with Rachel or to learn more about her psychotherapy and relationship coaching services, please follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Buy her book "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life" on Amazon.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more.” ~ Melody Beattie

Above is one of my favorite quotes on gratitude. Gratitude, or the feeling of being thankful, is a valuable concept that brings health into our lives and relationships.

The research on gratitude is incredibly powerful. A grateful attitude is linked to greater emotional, psychological and physical health.

Gratitude leads to higher levels of happiness and is known to increase energy and optimism, even in overwhelming moments.

Tuning into gratitude is also crucial to successful dating experiences and relationships.

It helps build loving relationships with others while increasing positive energy around you and your date or partner.

Approaching life with a grateful perspective opens you up to see the silver lining in a variety of situations, even in a less than ideal date.

Here are two quick exercises to help you cultivate a grateful approach to life:

1. Keep a gratitude journal or notepad.

Write down at least one aspect of your life that you are grateful for.

I recommend trying this exercise daily in the morning and/or before bed and including as many things as possible.

If it’s difficult to think of anything, start with food, water, a place to live, freedom, waking up each day or someone inspiring.

2. Practice turning negative thoughts into grateful thoughts.

Let’s say you wake up to pouring rain and your initial thoughts are something like, “Ugh. I wish I didn’t have to go outside. What a miserable day.”

Change your perception of the rain by accessing your gratitude.

Try saying, “I am grateful I have rain boots and a raincoat to keep me dry in the rain. I am grateful rain brings color and richness to nature.”

Gratitude will instantly change the course of your day and boost your mood.

“Expressing gratitude makes you feel

good while making him feel good too.”

Here are five tips to become a more grateful date, no matter how much or how little you click with your date:

1. Commit to making every date a learning experience.

Dates are also opportunities for personal growth.

It’s impossible to hit it off with every person you date, but it is possible (and very healthy) to learn from every experience.

Reflect on what you learned about yourself and how you can grow.

2. Be grateful for each learning experience.

Make a choice to value and appreciate what you learned, knowing that it increases self-awareness and knowledge about relationships.

3. Notice his acts of kindness.

Take note of the little things he does that are nice or make you feel happy.

See the good in him even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

4. Focus on the positive aspects of the date.

If you met a great partner, soak in the gratitude. If you didn’t meet the right guy for you, find other parts of the date to be grateful for.

It may sound silly, but choose to appreciate a delicious meal, the chance to meet the potential love of your life, your date’s time, a new friendship, the flowers he brought you, the waiter’s kindness or the live music you saw.

Remind yourself that there is always something to be grateful for.

5. Compliment him and say thank you.

For example, you may believe a true gentleman holds the door on a date.

Instead of noticing when he opens the door and feeling relieved in your head, vocalize your appreciation by saying thank you.

Expressing gratitude makes you feel good (and less likely to take his gesture for granted) while making him feel good, too.

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