August is Romance Awareness Month, and Aug. 18 is Bad Poetry Day. To knock out two celebrations at once, we decided to find the worst love poems ever. These poems will definitely last longer than the relationships did.
We’ve also included some GIFs to express the feelings we had when reading these.
7. “Lucky In Love”
Lucky in love, lucky in love
Didn’t forget me when I asked you to leave me
Didn’t forget me
Now you’re alongside me
You’ve brought luck to love
I’ve been hit by a truck in love
We know Jennifer Aniston was way into John Mayer, but that is no excuse for this. She should just give photographs next time.
Poem from: examiner.com
6. “Planets Align”
I’m your Mars
You are my Venus
You are my vagina
I am your penis
Uh, what? We’re not OK with either of the scenarios presented here. Please return to your own planet and your own genitals.
Poem from: musingsontap.com
5. “Ode to You”
You are the starlight to my moonshine
You are the summer of my mind
You can complete a perfect square
And still make jocks stop and stare
My heart goes boom
You can make a perfect sandwich
If you want to
Baby I won’t force you
But please don’t lay on that mayonaisse
Unless you want to
My stomach has room
You are so beautiful
Make me a sandwich
We’re not entirely sure if this is a compliment, but the answer is no we will not make you a sandwich. Keep your condiments to yourself.
Poem from: musingsontap.com
4. “I Need Your Love”
I need your love to keep me warm
Like the fires burning inside of us
Pushing us over the edge of insanity
Keeping us so close together in heart
And yet so far apart in miles
If this is the kind of poetry you’re supplying, we think there’s a reason you’re “so far apart in miles.” Do not go over the edge.
Poem from: 1122productions.com
3. “You Fill Me With Your Love”
You fill me
With your love
You fill me
With your caring
You fill me
With your thoughts
You fill me
With your sharing
Everyone’s favorite emotionless Vulcan showed his heart… ish. We’d actually prefer if Leonard Nimoy didn’t share these feelings.
Poem from: retroist.com
2. “Heartthrob”
Oh baby my heart beats like a drum
Every time I touch your bum
I know my way with words is slick
Do you wanna come and touch my stick
We can feel our hearts throbbing, but it’s from the ache caused by knowing someone could write this. No, slick, we don’t.
Poem from: musingsontap.com
1. “Our Love is Like a Bowling Ball”
Our love is like a bowling ball
Like a brand new Brunswick Red Zone
It rolls and rolls down the alley of desire
And rolls and rolls and rolls.
I will keep you out of the gutters, my love
And put my fingers in your holes
Every kiss a strike or at least a spare
Our future a perfect game.
Our love is like a bowling ball,
Our scores will rise and rise
I shall never step beyond the foul line
And I will rent your shoes.
And now the game of bowling is ruined forever for us. Please don’t come anywhere near us or our shoes.
Poem from: slate.com
