What To Do When A Guy Starts Pulling Away

Women's Dating

What to Do When a Guy Starts Pulling Away

Lyndra Hearn Antonson

Written by: Lyndra Hearn Antonson

Lyndra Hearn Antonson

Lyndra Hearn Antonson is a successful certified love relationship and life coach who works with singles and couples to find true and lasting love. She has a newly published ebook called "How to Find Love: A Spiritual Approach."

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

You’re dating a guy you really like. Everything starts off great, and then it goes sour. He suddenly starts dragging his feet on spending time with you or he disappears — stops calling, emailing or texting.

What can you do?

1. Don’t take action when feeling urgent.

These needy feelings indicate your inner child or emotional self is in the driver’s seat when she should be in the back seat safely restrained.

Many years ago, when I was single and looking for a mate, I sent a provocative email when I was feeling a sense of urgency to a man who’d expressed interest in me.

It freaked him out and that was the end of it.

2. Take some deep breaths.

Connect with the wise, self-loving, adult part of you – the part that recognizes your guy has his own issues and circumstances that have nothing to do with you.

“If you end up with men who disappear,

look at your own need to distance.”

3. Listen to your intuition.

If you sense your guy may need a little encouragement – perhaps he’s feeling insecure about himself or your interest in him – it’s OK to reach out and check in.

But if he doesn’t respond to your effort, let him go. He likely has his own stuff to work through.

4. Look at yourself.

If you consistently end up with men who disappear or begin distancing themselves, look at your own need to distance. Relationship patterns are mirrors that show us important things we need to learn about ourselves.

I had a long pattern of attracting unavailable men. Unavailable doesn’t just mean married or in a committed relationship.

It’s anything that a man makes a bigger priority than you. It could be his work, time with his friends or family, hanging out at the bar or watching sports.

When I was finally willing to look at how I was unavailable, I was able to address my fears and attract my wonderful husband.

5. Recognize your potential.

Recognize you are worthy of a healthy, loving relationship with a man who treats you like a precious treasure. Don’t settle for less.

In my last relationship before I met my husband, my then-boyfriend got re-involved with his ex-wife. For a while, he was seeing us both.

Because I had the false belief I would never find anyone more perfect for me than him, I tried to convince him to be with me.

When the relationship finally ended, I made a firm commitment to myself: I will never beg a man to be with me again. My future man will have to prove to me that he’s perfect for me.

And that’s exactly what happened. In 2002, I married a wonderful man who still treats me like a precious treasure.

Stay true to yourself and you can have that, too!

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.