Best Dating Sites

Looking for a dating site you can trust? Search no more.
Men's Dating
Posted:
|
![]() |
As a men’s dating expert, I receive plenty of inquiries and questions from men who want to date better and figure out what’s going on in their dating lives. I enjoy having conversations with single men and helping them figure out things they may not have realized before. Here’s an example of a letter and response I received from a guy who had no idea why his girl was dating other men. Check it out!
Hi Doc,
I was on a date with a girl, and I was thinking that she really liked me. She had invited me over to her house for dinner and stuff like that. Then on the fourth date, she started telling me how she went out with some other guy last week. Though she didn’t have anything good to say about him, I still didn’t like to hear about another guy.
What was she trying to accomplish by telling me about this?
John – who wants to know her motives
Hi John,
I wish I knew what you meant by “stuff like that” — on the other hand, this column is G-rated, so perhaps it’s better that I don’t know. Let’s move on and address the more important mystery: Why is your girl so unabashedly open about her dating life?
As is true with most dates, everything appeared to be going smoothly for you in the beginning – until your girl threw you a curveball.
Because you’re a rational being, you asked yourself, “Why is she talking to me about other guys when we are sitting together at her place?” That’s where I come in: I can interpret this behavior for the billions of confused men who inhabit planet Earth!
According to The System, the overwhelming majority of women (80%) don’t mention their other dates while they are in a man’s presence. That’s why when a woman volunteers this information, you must pay very close attention. She’s showing her true motives.
John, 90% of women who share the intimate details of their other dates with you do so to subtly tell you: “You’ll never be more than a ‘friend’ to me – so don’t even try!” In other words, they do it out of low Interest in a romantic future.
If you were to complain to her two months later about the fact that she’s still dating other guys, she may tell you with heartless indignation: “I told you at the beginning that I was seeing other people. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” So much for empathy!
The other 10% of women mention their other dates because they have high interest in you. A woman in this group falls into one of two possible categories:
In this instance, it’s not her intention to humiliate you — she just wants to find out what you are made of and how much you like her. For example, are you the type of guy who gets uptight when you find out you’re not the only sprinter in the race for her heart, or do you smile nonchalantly because you know you’re dating other people yourself?
The female knows that dating is a power struggle. This is why she tries to determine ASAP who is wearing the pants in the relationship. By besetting the man with numerous uncomfortable situations, a woman can determine whether he can “take the heat” (Sorry to say – most men can’t), which shows her if he has a backbone.
In short, testing a new relationship gives the woman very useful information. Now she’ll know how far a man can be pushed before he fights for her or walks out of her life.
In category two, a woman has an initial attraction but may have been exploring other options before committing to one man. In this scenario, she has only gone out with you one or two times. The attraction is growing, and she already feels guilty about dating other guys.
In her mind, she has given her heart to you, so any time spent out with another man is a type of infidelity, which makes her want to confess. Of course, her self-imposed guilt is unnecessary since no one can be expected to stop going out with other people after only a couple of dates – but it’s a good sign nevertheless.
“Her honesty shows you that she has integrity and has fallen hard for you.” — The System
I’m betting that the second category applies to your case, John. Firstly, your girl felt comfortable enough around you to invite you into her home to sit on her couch with her. Women with a low interest level don’t do this. Secondly, she had nothing good to say about your competition.
It sounds to me that this girl likes you and has a great attitude and approach… so far. My advice to you: Don’t bring up the other guy, and have a blast on your third date!
Guys, whenever you are confronted with dating phenomena that you don’t fully understand, don’t get uptight about it. And definitely don’t react out of fear or anger. Stay calm and cool in the moment and realize that your first reaction may not be the best reaction.
If you’re ever feeling upset and confused like John did, you can always consult a men’s dating expert like myself or go online and find some reliable information from coaching resources such as The System. That’ll give you a different perspective and help you understand what’s going on in your girlfriend’s mind and heart.
Discuss This!