My Fiance’s Friend is Always Around. Is This Cause for Alarm?

Gina Stewart
Gina Stewart Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

My fiance has a male friend who keeps popping up out of the blue every couple months just to make trouble it seems. I trust her, but she can’t seem to see the things he does.

For instance, New Year’s Eve, he asked her if she wanted to come over to his house for a party. He knows we recently got engaged but failed to ask me. She did not think that was weird and she always gives him the benefit of the doubt.

Is this cause for alarm?

-Robert (California)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

While she may not have any nefarious intent, she probably enjoys the attention he gives her. It’s always nice to feel wanted, regardless of your relationship status, right?

But as an engaged woman, and then as an actually married woman, she’ll need to know how she interacts with men who are not her husband comes with a different standard.

If he only pops up every few months and they don’t have interactions beyond that, it may not be worth the tension to give it merit.

Once you’re married, or if there is any change in the quality or frequency of their interactions, you’re justified to make this something to be dealt with.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.