Finding Women Part I: Chuck the Meat Market

Half the people on the planet are women — so they aren’t hard to find!  Why, then, do we make such a big deal about finding them? They’re everywhere! The real question is: Why do we keep going to bars and nightclubs to meet women? Could there be a more hostile environment for introducing yourself to a lovely lady?

Think about it. Her shields are set to maximum because she “knows” what most guys are really looking for. She’s with her girlfriends, and the hot babe wouldn’t think of leaving her less attractive friend to be with you. A hundred other A-holes have already drooled all over her and failed to penetrate her armor, so your sincere words are going to make you sound like a desperate loser or like just another jerk trying to get to her earthly delights.

A woman’s first instinct in a bar is to distrust you and maybe even to despise you just a little. You’ve got a lot of preconceived notions to overcome, and her unrealistic heroic expectations to live up to — and you’ve got five to seven seconds to do it or you’re toast.

Worst of all, even if she really is yearning for a swarthy pirate or a ruggedly handsome prince to have his way with her, women are not allowed to admit that — not even to themselves. Every Space Cowboy knows that a lady is all about the pompatous of love and, as painfully alluring first, second and third base can be, we all want a lady.

The fact is that if you want to meet a real woman, you need to look in the real world where she doesn’t have to be Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, who shoots down every man who dares to set his gaze upon her. And, in the real world, you don’t have to be a gladiator with ripped abs who has to slay a thousand worthy opponents to earn the admiration of his fair damsel. You can just be that quirky guy with the amazing smile who can make one pretty girl laugh.

You long for a pretty little sweetheart who can melt your heart with that twinkle in her eye or one touch from her silky smooth lady fingers. So why suffer through the all-but-certain rejection in a setting where you are seen as a throbbing joy stick without a conscience looking for some juicy prey to defile?

It stands to reason that “keeping it real” is a lot easier and more natural in everyday settings. You will be more at ease and more “yourself,” and she will be more comfortable and accepting of you as a genuine and ordinary guy.