Finding Women Part I Chuck The Meat Market

Men's Dating

Finding Women Part I: Chuck the Meat Market

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Advertiser Disclosure

Half the people on the planet are women — so they aren’t hard to find!  Why, then, do we make such a big deal about finding them? They’re everywhere! The real question is: Why do we keep going to bars and nightclubs to meet women? Could there be a more hostile environment for introducing yourself to a lovely lady?

Her defenses are already up.

Think about it. Her shields are set to maximum because she “knows” what most guys are really looking for. She’s with her girlfriends, and the hot babe wouldn’t think of leaving her less attractive friend to be with you. A hundred other A-holes have already drooled all over her and failed to penetrate her armor, so your sincere words are going to make you sound like a desperate loser or like just another jerk trying to get to her earthly delights.

A woman’s first instinct in a bar is to distrust you and maybe even to despise you just a little. You’ve got a lot of preconceived notions to overcome, and her unrealistic heroic expectations to live up to — and you’ve got five to seven seconds to do it or you’re toast.

Find real women in the real world.

Worst of all, even if she really is yearning for a swarthy pirate or a ruggedly handsome prince to have his way with her, women are not allowed to admit that — not even to themselves. Every Space Cowboy knows that a lady is all about the pompatous of love and, as painfully alluring first, second and third base can be, we all want a lady.

The fact is that if you want to meet a real woman, you need to look in the real world where she doesn’t have to be Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, who shoots down every man who dares to set his gaze upon her. And, in the real world, you don’t have to be a gladiator with ripped abs who has to slay a thousand worthy opponents to earn the admiration of his fair damsel. You can just be that quirky guy with the amazing smile who can make one pretty girl laugh.

After all, that’s what you really want, isn’t it?

You long for a pretty little sweetheart who can melt your heart with that twinkle in her eye or one touch from her silky smooth lady fingers. So why suffer through the all-but-certain rejection in a setting where you are seen as a throbbing joy stick without a conscience looking for some juicy prey to defile?

It stands to reason that “keeping it real” is a lot easier and more natural in everyday settings. You will be more at ease and more “yourself,” and she will be more comfortable and accepting of you as a genuine and ordinary guy.

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