I Don’t Want to Run Her Off. How Do I Let Her Know I Care?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I was introduced to a girl who had recently left her ex for abusive reasons, and she had just found out she was pregnant. Things worked until right before the baby was due, and even though I had established work and was about to buy a place for the three of us, she started wanting to try and give the baby’s father a second chance.

She has since apologized for the way she acted. She has been constantly asking when she can see me again, and I have told her that I will always love her and can’t wait to meet the son she has.

What I need to know is how to let her know that I care without running her off?

-Love Sick B. (Louisiana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh, man. Mr. Love Sick, you are in a hard place. You are dealing with a postpartum mother (read: running on erratic hormones) who still harbors fantasies of a traditional family with her abusive baby daddy.

My advice is to be a friend with boundaries to her. Tell her clearly what you want the relationship to be, and don’t let her get you on a slippery slope where your heart gets broken again.

No matter what, new mothers need a lot of help and support. Be a platonic friend. Show her you care by running errands or picking up food for her. But don’t let romance creep in until the baby is older, her old relationship is more settled, and you are clear about what you want.

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