I Haven’t Had a Date in More Than a Year. What Am I Doing Wrong?

Gina Stewart

Written by: Gina Stewart

Gina Stewart

Gina is the owner of Expert Online Dating. As an online dating consultant, she helps men and women maximize their online dating experiences to get more dates. You can visit her website, www.ExpertOnlineDating.com, for more information or to contact her.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I am on a bunch of dating sites. For well over a year, I’ve had not one date. I am a very nice guy looking to have fun.

What am I doing wrong?

-Rob (Illinois)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

There are three reasons why people don’t get dates. Without knowing specifics, it’s hard to know what is going on, but look at these elements:

1. Be ready to change your profile.

Photos and how you describe yourself may not be doing you justice. Men often neglect their pictures, so pay attention here.

2. You’re only contacting the most beautiful women.

If you’re going for the best-looking women, odds are they are also getting a lot of attention from other sources. Like attracts like. Like responds to like. If they are hot, you better make sure you’re looking hot, too.

3. Your contacting methods aren’t right.

You need to make sure you’re active in pursing women but not aggressively. One leads to dates and one doesn’t. Active means sending emails, trying to get to know someone and then asking them out.

Don’t be afraid to change how you do things. You can always contact an online dating coach like myself who can assess your problems on a more specific basis.

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