I Haven’t Met an Honest Woman. Why Are Dating Sites Filled with Players?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

Why are most dating sites filled with scam artists and mind game players? I have been at this over three years and have yet to meet one honest woman seeking love and marriage.

-John (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear John,

I suspect there are a higher proportion of people with attachment difficulties on Internet dating sites than in the real world for three reasons:

1. People with attachment problems are likely to have been single a long time and have run out of places to meet mates in their own circle.

2. People with attachment problems believe the only problem they have is they haven’t met the right person, as if a perfect mate will suddenly make them have good relationship skills

3. People with attachment difficulties prefer to type than talk. Their emotional communication skills are lacking.

Let me gently ask you then, John, do you have the relationship skills to get off the Internet and meet female friends who may transform into a romantic partner?

That’s how you increase your odds of finding an “honest woman interested in love and marriage.”

Hint: She’s near the end of her fertility window (over 30). She’s finished her education and has a good job. She has good relationships with her family of origin. And she may even be in the back row at church — any church. Start there.

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