I Haven’t Met an Honest Woman. Why Are Dating Sites Filled with Players?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

Why are most dating sites filled with scam artists and mind game players? I have been at this over three years and have yet to meet one honest woman seeking love and marriage.

-John (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear John,

I suspect there are a higher proportion of people with attachment difficulties on Internet dating sites than in the real world for three reasons:

1. People with attachment problems are likely to have been single a long time and have run out of places to meet mates in their own circle.

2. People with attachment problems believe the only problem they have is they haven’t met the right person, as if a perfect mate will suddenly make them have good relationship skills

3. People with attachment difficulties prefer to type than talk. Their emotional communication skills are lacking.

Let me gently ask you then, John, do you have the relationship skills to get off the Internet and meet female friends who may transform into a romantic partner?

That’s how you increase your odds of finding an “honest woman interested in love and marriage.”

Hint: She’s near the end of her fertility window (over 30). She’s finished her education and has a good job. She has good relationships with her family of origin. And she may even be in the back row at church — any church. Start there.

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