I’m in My Early 50s. What Arouses a Woman Today?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

What arouses a woman today seeing that I’m in my early 50s and she isn’t?

I want her to be attracted to me, but I do not want to push the issue of her seeing me as an older man.

-Stan (Ohio)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Stan,

Women are attracted to the same things men are: good health, loyalty, intelligence and honesty. Men might also add in beauty and women might add financial worth.

But you used the word aroused. Are you talking about sex only? If that is the case and she is much younger than you, you are talking about an arrangement, not a relationship.

But know this: Women are attracted to a man’s mind as much or more than his body.

On the other hand, if you sincerely want a romantic relationship with someone who is not your biological peer, then you’ve got to ask yourself about her reasons for being in the relationship.

Healthy relationships are an exchange of care and you might eventually need a kind of care she isn’t interested in providing.

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