My Ex Kicked Me Out. Should I Call Her?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

My ex-girlfriend kicked me out of her house in March 2012. The last time I talked to her on the phone was early December 2012.

Should I call her?

-Thomas (Missouri)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Thomas,

In a word: Why? Why did she kick you out of her house? And why do you want to get back with her?

Think about the answers to those two questions before taking my next advice.

If you really want a future relationship with her, you better have permanently changed the behavior that irked her before. Earning her trust back will be hard.

Secondly, the two of you need to learn some better conflict resolution skills. I guarantee if you fought a lot before, you will fight more this time around, so learn to contain yourself and hold your tongue.

Finally, even if she wants it, don’t rush back into a sexual relationship. The hormones and neurotransmitters associated with sex will make you less able to forge the emotional connection you will need for a long-term, secure attachment.

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