She Doesn’t Like to Talk Over the Phone. Is She Flirting, or is She Serious?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

This girl (29 years old) is my teacher’s assistant and two years older to me. While we walk from campus to my home, she will always touch me, nudge me or rub her body to mine.

I asked if she has a boyfriend and said she is kind of seeing someone. She asked my status and I said I was single.

I try to call her but she does not pick up. Then I ask if she would like to get lunch/dinner with me sometime. She says she is not avoiding me but does not like to talk over the phone. She also says she would love to continue our friendship over a meal but at a time she is not exhausted or busy.

Is she flirting, or is she serious?

-Al (U.S.A)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Al,

This gal is messing with you. She doesn’t know what she wants.

She may be keeping you as a backup man in case her current guy lets her down. Or, she may be using you to boost her own ego.

I’d say move on. This girl isn’t worth it. And this game playing will drive you crazy!


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.