She Doesn’t Want to See Me Anymore. Can I Change Her Mind?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

A girl I didn’t know but who knew me from high school liked old pictures of me through Facebook. It sparked my attention and I started to chat with her.

The first date was amazing. The second date was also great fun. Plus, both the dates ended with nice kisses.

After the second date, I tried to find a day we both could meet, but I didn’t succeed. I can’t help but think she decided she wasn’t going to meet me anymore

What I can’t seem to understand is why she changed her mind after two great dates. Can I get her to change her mind?


Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Shaul,

Here’s the crazy thing about first and second dates: One person can be thinking it is the best date of their life and the other person is feeling a tad underwhelmed.

We don’t know exactly what she experienced, although some women do give nice kisses out of politeness rather than attraction. It’s like they think they have to be a good hostess.

But other things could have happened. Her heartthrob ex could have walked back into her life for one final hurrah. Her job or school could be overwhelming. Her mother could have come to visit.

Or maybe she just felt you liked her too much. Plenty of people get mistrustful of behavior that seems to be too much, too soon.

Can you get her to change her mind? Probably not. But the best chance you have is to lay low for a while. Stay happy and busy – too busy to even think of her.

In a few weeks, send a little hello text and see if she responds quickly and with more words than you. If not, then you have your final answer.

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