We Haven’t Defined the Relationship. What’s Your Advice?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I have spent the night with the same girl for multiple weekends in a row. I called her this week and she told me she was putting makeup on to go out to have a drink of wine with another guy, but she insisted it was casual. She then sends a text asking if my feelings were hurt because she was going out with another guy. She has made a few statements here and there about how our relationship hasn’t been defined and we will have the talk. She then posted a picture of the “date” on a social media site. Advice needed.

-Jake (Michigan)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

She is doing everything she can do to make you pursue her harder. This woman is looking for relationship definition, but probably isn’t brave enough to ask directly and insist on exclusivity. So she’s trying to get you to do it, by flaunting another guy.

The ball is now in your court. If you want her to be your exclusive girlfriend, ask her. If not then, keep hooking up with her and all the other guys’ germs.

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