What Good is Confidence if Women Don’t Give You the Time of Day?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

Women say confidence is very important, but what good is having confidence if women don’t give a guy the time of day?

I’ve also heard if you don’t have (confidence) it, fake it. The problem with that logic is the woman will see through it over time.

What do you think?

-Brian (Oklahoma)

Dr. Wendy Walsh:

Dear Brian,

You’re right. Confidence must be real. Faking it backfires every time. However, how does one become confident if a guy is feeling rejected by women?

Here’s the secret: I think life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if you think you don’t have a chance with women, you will unconsciously choose women who will reject you so that your belief system will be validated.

Confidence starts by silencing the critical voices inside your own head. It continues by basing your self-worth not on people’s reaction to you, but on loving yourself and being proud of your own values.

Self-love is sexy, but it is very different from selfishness. Self-love means caring for your mental and physical health and being compassionate toward others.

I highly suggest you talk to a therapist or counselor about other ways you can authentically work to increase your confidence.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.