Remember, You Only Need One Good Woman to Fall in Love

Dating statistics are kind of sad these days. I don’t think I can turn on my computer or smartphone without seeing some reference to how there are more lonely people than ever, how men feel that women don’t understand them or have unrealistic expectations — and, of course, the reverse is true as there are women thinking that way about men.

It’s so easy to be discouraged if you don’t have a significant other or have had a string of bad dates (or none at all). And then you read these statistics and articles that tell you that dating and relationships as we knew them are gone.

Well, that’s not the whole story, so don’t let it get you down.

Here’s the problem with applying statistics to individual situations — they don’t always fit.  This is coming from a guy who LOVES to talk about the odds and success rates. If you are in a long-distance relationship, the odds are against you. If you’re trying to date someone who is vastly different in age, the odds are against you.

That doesn’t mean these romantic relationships never work out. They just rarely do.

It’s safe to say that I’m an odds maker because in my SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY I tell men you have very limited time to make a good impression. The clock is ticking, so my advice is don’t waste your time on romantic situations that have low odds of working the way you want them to. 

You’re just not very likely to have a successful relationship with the woman who is 20 years younger and lives four states away!

If you’re looking for a real relationship with a good woman, I don’t believe the odds are against you. Finding and having a successful relationship is very possible – even likely if you have the proper skill set and mindset.

Yes, you may often hear about how people are having trouble connecting. You may worry that women don’t want a guy like you. Maybe you think all women are only interested in dating millionaires who are over 6’5” and have a full head of hair.

I say that’s nonsense. The reality is all men have a chance at love. Look around in your own social circle or daily life and observe the couples. Is everyone from “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?” (Younger guys, you’ll have to Google that!)

My main point is don’t let yourself get discouraged by macro statistics that cite scary trends and averages. That isn’t inevitable. That isn’t destiny. Out of billions of women on the planet, you only need one good lady.

If your mindset is that billions of humans – half the planet – want nothing but an unrealistic male ideal, then think again. Also, think again about the “grass is always greener” thing that says that women in the United States want the unrealistic male ideal.  

OK, if you think that’s true – and I don’t — but if you do, that still leaves HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of women — and you need ONE.

Don’t brainwash yourself to think that every single individual woman on the planet (or in the U.S.) thinks the same.

Again, look at the couples around you for inspiration. And take it from me – average guys are finding great relationships with wonderful women. I see it in my daily life, and I certainly have seen it in 35+ years of coaching guys just like you.  

You just can’t give up! You never know when it will happen. One of my students went on over 40 bad dates before he found an amazing lady. 

Every great salesman knows that every no brings him closer to a yes, and single people have to learn to think the same way.  

I want all the straight single guys out there to remember: You only need one wonderful woman to wind up happily ever after. It may take time and require some perseverance to meet that one special person. But you’ll definitely never find it by throwing in the towel before you even start.

After all, it’s pretty nearly impossible to find a real home run love if you decide you have struck out before the pitcher even throws a pitch.