He Has Trust Issues. Could That be a Red Flag?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See full bio »

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:
The guy I’m currently dating is someone I met from the platonic section on Craigslist five months ago. We eventually chatted every day through email and text messages. I had crush on him, and he said he was interested in hanging out. But he never asked me out.
Eventually I confessed I had a crush on him and he said he had one, too. He said the reason he didn’t want to hang out is because he has trust issues. More than a month later, he finally agreed to hang out, and we go out about once a week. But he won’t tell me his last name, age or birthday.
What do these questions have to do with trust? Could that be a red flag?
-Cheryl (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Cheryl,
This isn’t a red flag situation. This guy is landing under a tarp of red parachutes. He’s so secretive that I even worry about your safety!
Let me get this straight. You met a stranger online, you fell into an email/text crush based mostly on your own imaginations about this guy, you hounded him to go out with you, he gave you a warning about his psychological health, and now he won’t even tell you his name!!!
Cheryl, I know what it’s like to want to feel loved. I know what it’s like to imagine a guy is fabulous when you haven’t got much info to go on. So you are totally forgiven for this girl crush behavior, but, honey, this is downright creepy.
The mother in me even thinks he won’t give you his last name because of what an online search will reveal – and it might even include criminal behavior. Hint: People who don’t trust others often don’t trust themselves either.
Please don’t see this man again until you’ve gotten his full name, age, contact info and have done a criminal background check. I don’t want to see your photo on the Nancy Grace Show with me.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.