What Is Dating Safety? Tips for Staying Safe Online & Offline

In today’s digital world, connecting with like-minded singles is easier than ever. A Pew Research survey found 40% of people said they believe websites and apps have made it easier to date. I certainly count myself among them!

I know of many couples who met through an app (shoutout to Hinge) and have swiping right to thank for their relationship or marriage. It’s truly impressive how much technology can connect us together. 

That said, dating comes with some risks. Whether you’re chatting online or planning your first in-person meetup, it’s important to be informed about the safety concerns of dating and the precautions you can take to keep yourself safe from harm. 

Understanding the Risks | Safety Tips | Online Red Flags | In-Person Dates | Special Considerations | Resources & Support

In both online and offline dating, there are safety concerns to consider. If you know the dangers you might encounter in the dating scene, you’ll be more equipped to recognize red flags and take the necessary steps to protect yourself. 

Catfishing and Identity Deception

When you’re dating online, you should know the signs of a fake profile to avoid matching with someone who intends to waste your time or, worse, financially and/or emotionally manipulate you. 

Some of the most common red flags include sparse profile information, overly professional or edited photos, and an online match refusing to talk on the phone or video chat. 

People who create fake profiles on dating websites are called catfish. Sometimes catfishing is financially motivated, or the person may be lonely or bored.

Be careful about how you interact with someone you suspect to be a catfish. The people who make these fake profiles may be pathological liars with ill intent.

Financial Scams and Fraud

Some scammers use online dating platforms to find victims to exploit for financial gain. These schemes are known as romance scams, and they can be financially devastating to their victims. 

Romance scams are a big concern in online dating, but in-person dating is not immune to this form of manipulation. 

Take the Tinder Swindler, who wooed women with private jets and luxury vacations before insisting they had to give him money to help him escape “dangerous” situations. The women complied, believing he was in real trouble and had more than enough money to pay them back (spoiler alert: he didn’t). 

Anytime someone you’ve just started dating or who you’ve only met online is asking you for money in any form (i.e., gift cards, Bitcoin, etc.), exercise extreme caution. 

Physical Safety Concerns

Meeting up in person with someone you’ve been chatting with is exciting, but it can pose physical safety risks. For example, you could be assaulted or robbed. 

There are some things you can do that could potentially minimize the likelihood that you could become a victim of an assault. These include: 

• Letting friends/family know the details of your date.
• Meeting up in public until you trust the other person.  
• Arranging your own transportation to and from the date.

If your physical safety is violated on a date, do not hesitate to call 911 immediately. Do not shower or change your clothes because they could become important evidence for an investigation. 

Before you start dating to find a partner, it’s important that you check in with yourself. Establishing what you’re looking for and where your boundaries lie before you start dating will keep you safer. 

Make Sure You’re Emotionally Prepared

Take some time to self-evaluate before dating online or offline. Having enough self-confidence to convey your needs and wants is essential to safe and healthy dating. 

You can take steps to improve your self-confidence in dating, including setting boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist throughout your dating journey. 

Establish Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Establishing your boundaries and expectations early on in a dating relationship is essential. 

Be clear about your boundaries regarding communication, physical contact, and what sort of personal information you’re comfortable sharing. You should also be clear about what hurdles a new partner needs to clear to move past these boundaries and create trust and intimacy.

Knowing what you’re comfortable with will empower you to stand up for yourself if someone attempts to violate your boundaries. 

Communicate Your Intentions Clearly 

Be upfront about your intentions. Are you just looking for hookups, or do you hope to find a lifelong partner? Are you casually dating but would be open to a romantic connection if one forms? 

Expressing these intentions with partners sooner rather than later is ideal. This may help you avoid uncomfortable (and potentially unsafe) situations by keeping your search focused on people who are looking for the same things you are. 

There are unique safety considerations with online dating, but with the proper precautions, you can stay safe and still meet cute singles online. 

• Choose Reputable Dating Platforms: Stick to well-known and reputable dating sites and apps. These platforms often have security measures to protect users, such as profile verification and reporting features.
• Recognize Warning Signs in Profiles and Messages: Be cautious of profiles with limited information, photos that look like a professional model, or overly lovey-dovey messages. These can be red flags for fake profiles. Trust your instincts if something feels off.
• Safely Navigate Initial Online Interactions: Use the app’s messaging system until you feel comfortable sharing your contact information. Avoid sharing personal details too soon, and consider a video call before you meet them in person to ensure you’re not dealing with a catfish. 

Remember to trust your instincts. If the dating profile seems fishy or the conversation makes you uncomfortable, hit that block button and end the chat. You may even want to report a suspicious person to keep them from scamming or harassing anyone else on the platform.

When it’s time to take things offline, there are additional risks and safety precautions to consider. 

Planning a Safe First Date

You should be allowed to enjoy your first date without worrying that you’re putting your safety at risk. When planning your first date, consider these precautions: 

• Choose a Public Location: Opt for busy, well-lit areas with plenty of people around. This minimizes the risk of being alone with someone you don’t yet trust. 
• Inform a Friend or Family Member: Let someone close to you know the details of your date, including where you’re going and who you’re meeting. Share your date’s profile information and keep your phone charged and accessible. 
• Transportation Considerations: Have your own transportation plan. Maintaining control over your arrival and departure is essential for your safety.

I personally never let my date pick me up until I’ve met them at least once in person. And I only take that step if I’m completely comfortable with him knowing where I live. Any nagging doubts? I’ll take the bus before I get in his car!

During the Date: Tips for Safety and Comfort

You’re on the first date  —  yay! Throughout the date, keep yourself safe by following these preventive measures: 

• Trust Your Instincts: Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, ending the date early is OK. You don’t need to explain yourself. Your safety is more important than being polite.
• Set Limits and Maintain Control: Know your limits regarding alcohol consumption and communicate your boundaries. Staying in control allows you to make clear-headed decisions.
• Handle Uncomfortable Situations Gracefully: If your date makes you uncomfortable, politely but firmly let them know. If they persist, you can always leave the date.  

Pro tip: Have a prearranged excuse or an exit plan ready, just in case. My friends and family know that if I’m on a date and send a one-letter text, it means I need them to call and help get me out of an uncomfortable situation.

LGBTQ+ individuals, older adults, and young people face unique challenges in the dating world. It’s important to know the risks based on your age or sexual orientation.

Advice for LGBTQ+ Individuals

Compared to straight people, LGBTQ+ singles are more likely to use online dating to meet their partners. We recommend choosing dating platforms that cater to the LGBTQ+ community and have built-in safety features. 

Be aware of the potential for discrimination and harassment and follow proper safety precautions (e.g., share your plans with a trusted friend or family member, meet up in public, etc.) when meeting up with anyone you meet online. 

Dating Safety for Seniors

Seniors new to online dating should take extra precautions. Use well-known platforms, be wary of sharing personal information, and consider involving a trusted friend or family member in your dating journey for added support. 

Stay alert for the signs of romance scammers, who tend to prey on older adults looking for love. 

Teenagers and Young Adults: Unique Risks and Precautions

Most online dating platforms expressly forbid minors from signing up, but age verification isn’t typically required, so sometimes minors can create accounts anyway. 

This can place young people in dangerous situations, as they lack the experience to recognize red flags and may inadvertently share personal information with strangers online. 

If you’re the parent of a teenager, have an open and honest conversation about the dangers of online dating and how your teen can protect themselves. 

If you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation, resources are available to help. You just have to know where to look.

Hotlines and Organizations for Victims of Dating Violence

These organizations offer support and guidance for anyone experiencing dating violence or abuse.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Loveisrespect: 1-866-331-9474
• Domestic Violence Resource Center

Additional Reading and Safety Guidelines

Check out additional recommended reading for how to stay safe when dating: 

• Tips for Safer Online Dating and Dating App Use by RAINN
• Dating Safety Tips by Tinder 
• Security Tips for Online LGBTQ+ Dating by Electronic Frontier Foundation 

I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but the only way to meet a special someone is to first meet someone who is a stranger to you. It just takes some getting used to.

Whether you’re dating online or offline, you should always feel safe and respected in all of your interactions. By knowing the risks associated with dating and the necessary precautions, you can ensure your dating experiences are fun, fulfilling, and, most importantly, safe.