What Is a Video Call in Dating? Everything You Need to Know

Once upon a time, video calls were a futuristic concept worthy of an EPCOT ride. Now, many online dating platforms offer the opportunity to connect via video, so it’s safe to say the future has arrived. 

The COVID-19 lockdowns made video chats an essential dating tool. A video date has become a common step for daters to take before meeting in person.

If you want to make the most of your video chats, it’s important to know why video chatting is so popular and how to put your best foot forward.

 Once you know all there is to know about video calls, it’s easy to use them to enhance your dating life.

Surprisingly, the first video call technology debuted in 1927 and was a commercial flop. People just weren’t ready to spend thousands of dollars only to have to check their makeup before every phone call. 

It took decades of technological development, but video chatting has finally caught on. While Skype tried it in the early aughts, it didn’t take off until Apple launched FaceTime in 2010.

Still, even after the success of FaceTime and ChatRoulette, dating apps and sites were slow to incorporate video options for users. 

It took a global pandemic to shift things on dating platforms. The lockdowns led to an explosion of video call options as part of the matchmaking process.

The Pandemic Prompted a Change

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, a meager number of hookup sites and casual dating apps provided video chat tools. Video chat was still a niche tool until the lockdowns made it a necessity.

During the pandemic,  more and more mainstream dating sites and apps launched video chatting tools. These features helped users connect virtually during the lockdowns. 

Match launched Vibe Check in April 2020, and eharmony unveiled a video date tool soon after. Video chat rapidly became a standard feature of any respectable online dating service.

Both Match and eharmony have rolled the video function back now that we can meet in public without fear, but most dating apps and sites still offer voice or video contact features. 

Certain innovative dating apps even revolve around users sending and receiving short video messages to get to know each other.

Current Popularity

Even though social distancing is history, video chats remain popular, especially among Gen Z singles.

When dating sites and apps launched video call functions in 2020, the industry consensus was that demand for video chats would only increase as the so-called TikTok Generation began exploring online dating. 

Now, apps that cater to Gen Zers, such as Snack, revolve almost entirely around video chat. 

A survey published in Business Insider found that 65% of singles aged 18 to 27 preferred to have their first dates online. Survey participants cited reasons that included the cost, the convenience, and their comfort zones.

Video chat will be essential as online dating platforms try to convince more Gen Zers to join. The younger generation prefers keeping things digital but is looking for a more profound connection than text chat alone offers.

The accessibility of video chatting options makes it easy to get to know others. You only need an internet or cellular data connection, a camera, and a place to sit comfortably and chat.

Some online dating platforms include video chat tools, but you’re not obligated to use the built-in video call options in the site or app. You can opt for Zoom, Skype, Google Meet, or FaceTime if you want a more independent connection with your potential date.

Whether you’re using a feature in a dating site or app or shifting to an independent video chat platform, setting up and getting started is simple. Tinder’s video chat options allow you to begin a video call spontaneously after you’ve exchanged a few messages, but you might prefer to set a date ahead of time.

When the time comes, make sure you’re in a quiet, calm location where you can hear the other person, and they can hear you. 

Check that your camera, microphone, and speakers or headset are all working. Get in a comfortable position with a good, neutral background. 

Then, take a breath, launch the chat, and click or tap to accept or send a call. Once you’re connected, start chatting. Most platforms keep things simple: a click or a tap to connect and disconnect and a few filters or backgrounds to make things fun. 

Video chatting provides a whole host of advantages when it comes to dating, especially for singles using online dating platforms. 

Video lets people simultaneously connect more deeply and keep a safe distance, so you can get to know someone with few risks.

It’s Convenient

With smartphones, tablets, laptops, and many other electronics that include cameras and internet access, a video date is as convenient as a phone call or text message. You can schedule a quick video chat session on your lunch break or a virtual dinner date at a preset time with a potential partner without interrupting your daily routine.

You’re also not limited to just using the video chat feature your dating app provides. Skype, Zoom, Google Meet, and many other platforms allow users to set up a spontaneous or scheduled video conference with whatever level of security they want. You can set everything up in minutes and chat for however long you want.

Best of all, distance isn’t an issue beyond considering time zones. You and your prospective match can connect at whatever time of day makes the most sense for you. 

It’s Safe

Some things are hard to convey in text. Video chats let you understand a person  while keeping enough distance to be safe. 

You get a much better feel for your date’s personality than you would from text messages or emails. 

Video calls also give you a glimpse into someone’s lifestyle. Although there’s a limit to what you can learn about a person’s home or habits through a camera lens, video chats provide at least some context for how a person lives.

Starting with a video call, you can develop a sense of trust in your new online relationship.

You’ll better know what to expect when you meet in person – if you’re comfortable meeting in person.

It’s Successful

A lot of people use video chatting as a method of screening red flags in potential partners, and it works well. You can identify people who use old photos, screen out potential catfishers, and get a sense of a person’s vibes before committing to an in-person date. 

Match launched Vibe Check in 2020 to give users a safe way to date. Before the pandemic, a survey found that only 7% of Match users were interested in a video chat function. That number ballooned to 69% during the Covid lockdowns. 

Video chats aren’t just for screening out bad matches: entire relationships can blossom over the camera. Kirsten and Dominick used eharmony’s video date option when they met online during Covid lockdowns. By the time they moved to in-person dates, they had already hit it off. The couple got engaged in 2021.

Journalist Anna-Sophie Dreussi had mixed experiences with Tinder’s video chat option but ultimately found several dates that led to fun and interesting interactions. 

All in all, video calls make it easier to weed out bad matches early. That means you find your chemistry with potential partners more quickly, leading to more success in dating.

Although video calls are a convenient, safe, and effective way to get to know someone, there are still challenges and issues to consider. 

Learning to navigate the technical issues and inherent social awkwardness will help you video chat successfully. 

Technical Issues

Technical issues can always arise during a video call, no matter what device you’re using. Internet or cellular data transmission can lag, causing the chat to freeze for seconds or minutes or even drop the chat entirely. 

Lags and faulty data transfer can cause problems with audio syncing, which throws off the conversation.

Not all cameras or devices handle video equally well. Using an older laptop or a lower-resolution camera on a cheaper device could result in a blurry video feed or grainy images. 

Technical issues aren’t the end of the world, but they dampen the experience. It’s a good idea to plan ahead to avoid glitches and missed connections. 

Test your equipment. Run a trial call to test your internet or data connection and speed. Learn some basic troubleshooting steps so that you can tackle issues as they come up. 

Some prep will help you feel more confident going into the conversation, so it’s a win-win!

Camera Shyness

Some people find video calls more intimidating than in-person conversations.

Even the most confident person in face-to-face encounters might feel anxious and uncomfortable in front of a camera. 

Video chats do poorly convey body language since you generally get a limited view of a person in the frame.

To combat camera shyness, practice until you’re comfortable on camera. Take some videos of yourself and watch them back. 

It may feel odd at first, but over time and repeated recordings and viewings, you should start to feel more natural. This process of desensitization uses repeated exposure to reduce anxiety or discomfort around an experience.

You might want to dress up for your video dates. Of course, this doesn’t work if you spontaneously join a video chat, but if you have a planned call, go ahead and put on your favorite outfit.

It can boost your confidence to wear nice clothes, do your hair, and spruce yourself up before the call.

If none of these tips to overcome camera shyness help, maybe video chats just aren’t the medium for you. In that case, you might consider less invasive contact methods, such as voice chatting, voice notes, or sending pictures.

Potentially Awkward

If you go on an in-person date, you’re usually in a public place, surrounded by others. Think restaurant, bar, coffee shop, movie theater, or even in a park. Video calls are different; the entire experience is focused on your interaction. The two of you are the only things driving the conversation. 

That intense one-on-one connection can be awkward initially, and recovering from the initial stiffness and discomfort is hard.

Consider some strategies to navigate this awkwardness. Success mostly comes down to learning to relax and accepting discomfort. 

Ignore the instinct to clam up. Instead, push forward by asking the other person questions about themselves. Try to be present in the moment.

Getting some practice before your first video date can be a good idea. FaceTime a friend, or try striking up conversations with strangers in your day-to-day life. 

You can even write yourself some scripts for small talk topics. That way, you don’t feel put on the spot during the video chat. 

Awkward moments come with video chats, so be prepared for them and plan to confront the awkwardness before you ever get on camera.

Your goal is to make the best possible first impression on your video dates, which takes intentionality. 

Just like on any first date, you should make an effort to emphasize your positive attributes and avoid off-putting mistakes. A little bit of planning can go a long way!

1. Choose a Nice Background

Many people use Zoom, Google Meet, and other video conferencing tools as part of their work-from-home setup. You likely know the importance of a nice backdrop for video chat sessions.

Your background on a video chat should be clean, neat, and show at least a little of your personality. The wall in your bedroom is perfectly fine, as long as the space is tidy. 

It’s a good idea to consider just what message you might be giving with your choice of background. Having your bed visible might make the conversation feel a little more sexual than you want – or maybe that’s what you’re going for. 

You can choose a virtual background if you don’t want to show your living space. Perhaps you’ll want to make your own virtual background for a more realistic look. 

2. Make Sure Your Internet is Working

One of my biggest pet peeves with video chat is the call freezing or dropping mid-sentence. The easiest way to prevent this frustration from happening to you is to test your internet regularly. 

Whether you’re using Wi-Fi or cellular data, regularly checking the quality and speed of the connection will help you learn when problems are more likely.

Many online solutions can check your internet speed, and step-by-step guides can help you verify the quality of your internet connection.

Regularly checking how your internet or data connection is working allows you to note times and places where it is weaker or slower. Then, you can plan your video calls accordingly. 

Monitoring your connection also teaches valuable troubleshooting skills, so if you run into an issue during a video chat, you can tackle it quickly.

3. Have Some Icebreakers Written Down

Just like on a more traditional date, starting the conversation can be intimidating on a video call. 

The good news is that video dates allow for chest sheets. You can write down a few icebreakers or conversation topics and post them on the wall where you can see them, but your date can’t. Here are some examples:

• Favorite places to travel
• Pets or hobbies
• Childhood memories
• Family members or friends you admire

These conversation starters don’t have to be complicated or invasive. Don’t worry; you don’t have to come up with many brilliant topics. Just have a few notes with interesting things to talk about with your date.

You can start the video chat on the right foot by bringing up hypothetical questions and lighthearted personal queries based on your interests.

Having some icebreakers ready before you start the video feed means that if the conversation lags, you have a go-to topic to reignite the conversation. 

The process of brainstorming some questions and topics of interest can help you feel more confident as you start the chat.

4. Remove Distractions

A video chat date with a potential partner isn’t quite the same thing as a video call for professional purposes, but a lot of the same etiquette applies. 

You should remove distractions from the area so that you can focus on your date – and your date can focus on you.

Choose a quiet, calm location for your video chat. If you’re spontaneous, this can be a challenge, but part of your planning for a scheduled video date should include selecting a time and place without much noise and bustle. 

Don’t have the TV on. Don’t play music or games while you’re chatting. Avoid eating anything unless the plan is to make it a virtual dinner date. Overall, avoid the impulse to engage in video chat multitasking. 

Keep the disruption level as low as possible. If you have pets, ensure they’re fed and attended to before starting your video call. Of course, animals can be a wildcard for a planned call, but at least you’ll find out if your potential partner will have an issue with your pet before you even meet. 

The whole point of the video date is to connect and interact with a new person. You can’t do that effectively if there are a bunch of distractions around you. Do your best to remove potential distractions so you can focus on your date. 

5. Practice Active Listening

The goal of a video chat is to make a deeper connection before meeting in person. Practicing active listening with your date is the best way to maximize that connection. That way, you can really learn about them. 

Active listening is listening to another person with a high level of attention. You’re not just listening to what they say to reply to it; you’re striving to achieve mutual understanding. 

To actively listen to another person means to dig deeper into what they say to gain more context and details about their thoughts, opinions, experiences, and feelings.

Cultivating your active listening skills will serve you well in video chats and be beneficial in your everyday life. 

While you may not feel comfortable taking notes while your video date talks, it’s easy to ask follow-up questions and encourage them to expand on what they’ve said.

By listening more deeply to a potential partner, you’ll create a stronger initial connection. This can help alleviate some of the anxiety felt on a video chat.

6. Schedule a Follow-Up

Like scheduling a follow-up date after a stellar first date in person, you should schedule a follow-up video chat date when things go well. 

If you and your potential partner hit it off immediately, suggest a date and time for another chat.

Of course, it’s vital to get the ball rolling if you’re not interested in having multiple video chats and want to move to a real-world interaction. 

When the conversation starts winding down, you can ask your potential partner if meeting for an in-person date makes sense. Assuming the date went equally well for you both, it should be easy.

Asking for a second date can feel intimidating, but the nervousness should disappear quickly as long as you keep it simple and direct. 

After all, if you have a great connection with someone, you want to keep seeing them! Take the initiative and pencil in a second video chat, a phone call, or an in-person date.

Video chat features make it easy for singles to connect on a deeper level than text-based communication allows. They allow you to see if a potential partner is worth meeting in person. Think of it as a glimpse into their lifestyle before you take the plunge. 

Despite the potential challenges of video calls, they remain a powerful and popular tool for adding a more personal touch to online dating. Get your camera rolling and test your chemistry with a potential match!