He is Coming Out of a Long-Term Relationship. Should I Not Pursue It?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I am 43-year-old female and have tried online dating off/on for a few years, mostly unsuccessfully. At this age, I am really looking for a relationship, not just casual dating as I have never been married.

Someone emailed me from Match.com before I ended my life as a profile. He is new to online dating at 48 years of age after being in a 19-year marriage. I am telling myself maybe it is not good to get involved with someone who just started that process as I am leaving it, especially considering he is coming out of a long-term relationship.

Do you think this is reasonable enough to consider not pursuing it?

-Kerri (Missouri)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


And it’s reasonable to not drive a car because car accidents happen. And it is reasonable to not ever go swimming because some people drown.

I’m being sarcastic, of course, because I’m trying to show you how you let things fail before they even begin.

I would think a man who has been in a 19-year marriage is probably most comfortable being part of a couple.

And, because he hasn’t been jaded by the online dating scene, he may think he has beginner’s luck because he found you.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.