How To Meet Single Men Over 40

Women's Dating

How to Meet Single Men Over 40

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If there is a time of life when men are as close to perfect as they are ever going to get, it’s when they are in that 35 to 45 age range. They are confident and civilized, and they know how to approach and treat women (and children). They are likely to be at the peak of their success. They have given up most of their childish ways and have finally matched the maturity level of a 25-year-old woman. They’ve sown their wild oats, screwed up a fabulous relationship or two, and learned the hard lessons that life has to teach. They are finally ripe for the picking.

Yes, many of them are happily married, but there are tens of thousands of them coming into the market every week. This is the time when they start to sense their mortality and decide that they just can’t waste another year with that formerly sweet and beautiful cheerleader who has morphed into the donut queen with a bad attitude and stagnant intellect. It’s the time when the great ladies lose patience and dump the guys who made too many mistakes before they realized what they had, and too much bad blood just can’t be overlooked.

But new blood replaces bad blood, and the challenges and losses that didn’t kill them have made them stronger and better — for you. So, how do you meet them? And where can you find these real men who have finally reached the age of reason? Just think about who they are and what they like to do. One thing is for certain: They have the time, money, energy and desire to incorporate a woman like you into their lives right now.

1. Playgrounds?

Many single men around the age of 40 are divorced fathers who get their kids on the weekends. They try to make their time with the kids something fun and memorable, so they take them out to play. It might be a nice park with a playground, or it might be an amusement park, mini golf course, go-kart track, water park, public pool, or the food court and movie theater at the mall.

These might not be the places you would normally associate with men over 40, but every weekend all of the hot fun spots are crawling with weekend fathers. Look for the guy checking emails on his Blackberry while trying to keep tabs on little Jimmy and Susie as they scamper off in opposite directions. Help him out by slowing one of the kids down with your motherly charm, and then help him settle his frazzled nerves with an ice cream cone.

If his kids are a little older, they might prefer a shopping trip to the mall. You might be just the one who has the fashion sense and patience to help his teenage daughter pick out something cute and appropriate at the Gap.

2. Golf courses.

Golf is one of those lifelong sports that attracts 40-year-old men like moths to a porch lamp. You might even have been a golf widow who cut your man loose because he liked to stroke his putter more than he did you. It is difficult to hone in on a hard action, sweaty racquetball match at the club, but golf is a much more leisurely sport.

You can start out by getting a bucket of balls and borrowing a 5-iron at the driving range. Once you’ve made a dozen divots for every ball that trickled off the tee, you might make an appeal to a handsome candidate without a wedding ring to help you with your swing. Or take lessons at the golf course. The Greek god of golf might be diddling half of the ladies there, so concentrate on the men who come to play a round of golf. Public courses are much cheaper, but the private courses might have men of higher means and higher education, who may also be quite fit and charming.

Most of the go-getter guys come very early in the morning, and they often are looking for a person or two to fill out their foursome. Come alone or bring a lady friend, but be prepared to split up if you spot a threesome looking for one more. Don’t worry about being a good golfer. Just be a good conversationalist, and don’t slow them down. Be sure to ask if you can join them for the customary beer or beverage in the club lounge afterwards, too. You might insist they let you buy them a drink for all of their great golf tips and patience.


“Whether you are 40, 50, 60 or beyond, there

will always be good men available to you if

you’re just willing to go out and find them.”

3. Party crashing.

Everybody you know has an entire circle of friends you don’t know. If you know them at work, they have friends in their private life at home. And if they are personal friends, they have friends where they work. Each of their friends has friends, too. It’s kind of like that “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” thing. Every connection has the possibility of branching out into a series of connections that will eventually connect you to the man of your dreams.

There are a couple of ways of capitalizing on these untapped connections. Tag along with a friend to a party he or she is attending at the home of one of his or her work friends, or join a co-worker at a party with one of their personal friends. Gomer really wants to escort a lady to his cousin’s wedding? Offer your services, and meet a whole new world of friends.

The other possibility for bringing new people into your life is to have a party and ask each of your guests to bring someone that nobody else in your circle of friends knows. You’ll meet eight or 10 or a dozen new people. Talk to each one of them, and find an event or party they will be attending soon, too. The further you branch out, the more people you will bring into your life. You never know who will be the one to connect you to your dream lover, so get to know them all, men and women alike.

4. Seminars and classes.

Every week there are dozens of seminars and conventions in hotels and conference centers in every city. It might be the free forex or real estate group that wants to sell a program to attendees, but many of the men attending may be serious investors, single and over 40. Spiritual and self-growth seminars are also popular with middle-aged men who are trying to begin a new and more successful life or relationship after a divorce.

Yoga classes, pottery classes, night classes at the community college and other learning events are a good way to keep sharp and to meet men.

5. Get involved.

Every time you leave your house, you increase your odds of meeting the man you’re looking for. Offer your decorating skills to Habitat for Humanity, and you are likely to run into a lot of men who know their way around a nail gun and a tape measure. Younger guys don’t often volunteer, and guys that are too old aren’t so interested in physical labor. But there are a lot of cowboy carpenters who are fit and strong and would love to cozy up to a pretty lady like you.

There are a lot of places you can get involved — the church, the homeless shelter or a place that serves meals to the needy. You might find a like-minded Good Samaritan who is ready to rock your world. And you will be making the world a better place at the same time.

Men in the prime of their lives are everywhere, and they all want and need a woman. Even if you’re a bit under 30, you might find the maturity, stability and relationship skills you dream of in a slightly older man. Whether you are 40, 50, 60 or beyond, there will always be good men available to you if you’re just willing to go out and find them.

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