I Haven’t Heard Back from Him. Is He Blowing Me Off?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I started community college about five months ago, which is when I met this guy. We really hit it off (at least I thought so). I fell pretty hard. By the time finals had rolled around, I had gathered up the courage to ask him out. He responded positively and told me to text him so we could set something up. Now he did warn me that he would be busy, but I assumed it meant he had work. I waited a day or two before texting him to see if we could meet for lunch. I have yet to hear back (three days later).

Is he blowing me off? Or is he genuinely THAT busy?

-Audra (Arizona)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Audra: Oh, darling Audra. When I read emails like yours, I wish I could bottle up my grown-woman wisdom and hand it out to every young woman I meet.

This reminds me of a story from my early 20s.

It was New Year’s Eve. I was with a girlfriend and her family. The house party was filled with her Caribbean aunties, nieces and nephews, and even good old Grandma plunked by the Christmas tree with a rum and eggnog in her hand.

I didn’t appreciate the warmth of these relationships because I was pining away, awaiting the arrival of a guy I had fallen for.

He was in a Florida airport trying to get to me in Canada. He called every hour or so with apologies and detailed stories of crowed airports and missed planes.

Each time I told him I understood, we exchanged words of love, and I continued to wait.

Finally, as it neared midnight, a wise croak erupted from the Christmas tree. My friend’s grandmother had been watching and listening.

Her voice rang like an island witch doctor who had just looked into a crystal ball, “Child, dat mon didn’t leave his house. Call. You’ll see.”

What could this old woman really know about modern day dating, I thought? But I humored her by getting my friend’s brother to call and ask for him.

And yes, a woman answered. Apparently he had a wife. And she told my friend, “Just a minute, he’s out by the pool on his cell phone.” Crowded airport, my ass.

I’m telling you this story so you will pay close attention to my words to save you heartache.

1. Young women should wait, flirt and invite a man to ask them out. They shouldn’t be the pursuer at the beginning.

2. When he told you to text him, he was saying, “I’m being polite to you but getting out of this social situation with a smile because I am a coward.”

3. When he said “I’m really busy” that meant “I’m interested in other women, not you.”

4. Young women shouldn’t text a man for a date. Ever.

5. He’s blowing you off. No man is too busy for a potential sexual opportunity.

I know. I hated those lessons, too. They were a real bitch to learn. But nothing compared to my pain and embarrassment on that New Year’s Eve.

This is a rookie error, girlfriend. Next year, you’ll be a sophomore and can share it with the freshmen ladies.

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