I’m Afraid I’m in the Friend Zone. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’m afraid I’m stuck in the friend zone. I like one of my male best friends, but I don’t know if it is mutual. He recently got out of a three-year relationship, and I’m afraid if I do something about this, then it could wreck our friendship.

What should I do?

-Katherine (Minnesota)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Katherine:

This is a tough one. First of all, the timing couldn’t be worse for you.

If he just got out of a three-year relationship, he won’t be making good decisions. He may not want to rush into another big relationship so fast and if he does, you could end up as the short-term rebound girl.

On the other hand, you’ve got to decide if you can live with unrequited love. If he’s really the one you love, it may become torturous to be on the sidelines watching his dating life.

If it were me, I’d hang around a bit longer, give him all the signs you are interested (Do you know how to flirt?), and if he doesn’t take the bait, you’ve got your answer. Then you’ve got to decide if being in the friend zone is a happy place for you.

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