I’m Going to Florida with Him. Who Pays for What?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

In my 70s and dating a man in his 70s. We do not live together. I’m going to Florida with him in his car. He would be going down alone anyway.

Should I pay for some of the travel expenses? How does traveling together work? Who pays what?

-Louise (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Louise,

Excellent question, young lady. Times have changed, but your man may be of the generation who still respects traditional gender roles.

The best place to start is with a kind inquiry to see what he prefers. I don’t know each of your financial situations. Both of you may now be on fixed incomes, or one or both of you may have investments that produce inactive income.

But if you are to have a truly healthy intimate relationship, then you’ve got to be prepared to broach the sticky subject of money. And you’ve got to ask yourself what you prefer and will accept.

If he has much more money than you and you feel cared for and loved when he spends it on your comfort, then tell him so. If, on the other hand, you have more money, you may have to find a subtle way to pay your share (or more) without hurting his pride.

But the key is to have that important conversation before you get in his car and misunderstandings crop up. Enjoy the sunshine!

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