I’m the Only One Communicating. Where Do I Go From Here?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I met this guy at the laundry mat. We texted every day for a month. We met up a couple times within that month. Yes, we did have sex.

Then the texting became less and less. What he has told me was he’s been really busy and kind of down.

We both agreed to have a “friends with benefits” thing, but I’m not sure how you go from communicating every day to nonexistent.

I like him and would like to hang out with him, but I seem to be the only one communicating with little to no response.

Where do I go from here?

-Nancy (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Nancy,

Here’s the deal: Men who extract sex from women don’t need words and communication. They don’t need friendship either.

They just need to know you’ll respond to their text when they are horny.

You entered a no-strings-attached sexual relationship and you thought it would entail at least verbal communication. Who knows what he thought he was entering.

One study of men showed the more sexual partners they have had, the more they perceive “diminished attractiveness” in each new mate. In other words, having sex with him makes him like you less.

It’s a race to the bottom for them. Each sexual conquest disappoints them more.

The only way to be different and get a guy to notice you is to show boundaries and control the pace of the sexual relationship, even if the only thing you are negotiating for is friendship.

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