How To Get A Guy To Talk To You First

Women's Dating

How to Get a Guy to Talk to You First

Bethany Heinesh

Written by: Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Many women will concede that meeting men is easy but insist getting them to talk to you is next to impossible. Nonsense, I say! Men are dying to talk to you. They want to come right up and ask for your digits, invite you to dance or get you to agree to dinner. The problem is, many men are so afraid of rejection that they never muster up the courage to approach you for fear they might strike out.

When it comes to beautiful women, some guys are a little on the shy side and are too bashful to strike up a conversation. Others assume you have no interest in talking to them so they never even try. Furthermore, there are an untold number of men who avoid introductions all together and wait for women to come to them. Whatever the reason, you need to know that sometimes, to land the man of your dreams, you’ll have to step outside your comfort zone and make the first move.

Trust me, ladies, being the one to initiate a conversation is a very empowering experience. If your cutesy pickup line works, you’ve bagged yourself a stud and lined up a date for Friday night. If it doesn’t, you’ll be stronger for it. Learning how to accept rejection without crumbling is a necessary component of any woman’s success, romantically or otherwise.

Here is a list of seven foolproof ways to motivate a man to commence communication with you.

1. In general, any lame pickup line will do.

Men are pretty laid back when it comes to introductions. If he thinks you’re cute, you could talk about pottery for an hour and he wouldn’t care. Don’t overthink things. Walk right over and ask him if it hurt when he fell from heaven. If nothing else, you’ll get a good laugh.

2. At the club, send him a drink.

Tell the bartender to send him and his friends a round of whatever they’re having, and make sure he knows it’s from you. When he looks your way, put your drink in the air as if to say “cheers.” Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, he’ll come over to thank you.

If you and he are both smokers, go over and ask him for a light. Works every time.


“Remember, no matter where you are, men are there also.

Take a look around and find one who sparks your interest.”

3. At the grocery store, ask him about the produce.

Is it any good? Is he a cook? What seasonal veggies does he recommend? Many, many of my guy friends have told me they go to the grocery store specifically looking to meet a woman. Take advantage.

4. At school, ask him how he’s doing in class.

Ask him if you could have his number to set up a study session. Tell him you’d be happy to take him to dinner if he can tutor you later in the week.

5. At work, steer clear.

I feel I need to mention this because I believe the office is a lousy place to pick up guys. Unless your company has hundreds of employees and you won’t have to see him every day, stay away from the hot mailman or the cute IT guy. If things don’t work out, you’ll have to see him at work and that just sucks.

6. At the gym, ask him if he can show you a new exercise.

This may seem scary because many of us are insecure about our bodies, but I say get over it. You’re there to get into shape, and you should feel proud you are working to improve your physical well-being. If he is critical because you need to lose a few pounds, you don’t want him anyway.

7. Ask for street directions.

This works just about everywhere. If you see a hot guy at the light or you’re riding your bike through the park, just ask him how to get to the nearest gas station, library, whatever. You can always be over the top and ask how you could get to his house!

Remember, no matter where you are, men are there also. Take a look around and find one who sparks your interest. Be bold and go for it. Mosey on over and chat him up. The worst thing that could happen is he snubs you and walks off. Trust me, you’ll get over it. And fast.

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