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Dr. Wendy Walsh
My ex-husband sent me an email that said I was a great woman, he loved me deeply and I would always be on his mind. He said he was ashamed of himself for letting someone like me go. Why would he send me this after being divorced for almost a week?
-Cindy S. (Texas)
There are three possible psychological reasons for his show of love to you just one week after the divorce.
Now that things are settled and the divorce is final, he can put on his rose-colored glasses and remember the good things about you.
When the divorce papers are finally signed, it’s official. It’s over. No matter how bad the marriage was, this evidence of closure can bring up a strange separation anxiety.
As long as the divorce was pending, he knew you might somehow reunite. But now things are final. This can cause self-doubt and separation anxiety.
I don’t know who initiated the divorce, how long you were separated, or what injuries occurred within the relationship, but I do know this is a common post-divorce reaction.
If you think this could be the feeling that prompted his email, think long and hard before you jump back into the fire. The best indicator of someone’s future behavior is their past behavior.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.