He Isn’t Contacting Me. What Do I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Reader Question:

I’m a 45-year-old divorced female with two teenagers. Recently I began a relationship with an old high school friend. It seems that once I let my guard down, he became distant and started spending less time with me. Now he is working out of state and said he doesn’t think I could handle him being away all the time working. I told him I could but only if he wanted it to work. He said he does. But now he isn’t contacting me at all. I’m not contacting him either.

What do I do?

-Tammi (Illinois)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


What should you do? Sadly, exactly what you are doing. Don’t contact him. I wish more people could be honest, but here is another case where, instead of breaking up, they tell their lover why they wouldn’t be right for them.

When he said, “You can’t handle me being away all the time,” he was really saying, “Here’s a great excuse to exit the relationship.”

And don’t blame yourself for this breakup. Too many guys move fast with single mothers and then stop to reconsider (usually after they have obtained an orgasm) all the ramifications of a long-term relationship with three people.

I know your kids are older but you are still a family, and that scares off an irresponsible man.

Next time around, still let your emotional guard down so you can grow some intimacy, but don’t let your physical guard down until you are sure this guy has enough backbone to be a real partner.

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