My Ex Goes Out of His Way to Bother Me. Why Does He Act This Way?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me but would not go more than five to seven days before he would call or text me. He would typically start texting while he was drunk, saying he was “so sorry.” When I found out he was with another woman, yet in touch with me, I cut all communication.

The ex and his girl go out of their way to act extremely affectionate around me, yet I have been told they constantly fight in public when I am not around. The ex has even gone so far as to give me a little shove from behind and then stated he didn’t realize it was me.

Why is my ex doing this? Why does he act this way when HE broke up with me? What do I do to make him stop and just move on?

-Kristin (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

The real question is “Why did he break up with you?” Was he using it as a leverage to get something else from you? There’s no doubt he’s still attached to you, but his drunk texts and public displays designed to invite your jealous attention are a poor substitution for honest conversation.

If you love him and think there is still something there, call him and address all his behavior. If he still says he’d prefer to stay broken up, then you are right to not take his calls, avoid him in public, and move on. He doesn’t know what he wants.

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