My Ex Goes Out of His Way to Bother Me. Why Does He Act This Way?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me but would not go more than five to seven days before he would call or text me. He would typically start texting while he was drunk, saying he was “so sorry.” When I found out he was with another woman, yet in touch with me, I cut all communication.

The ex and his girl go out of their way to act extremely affectionate around me, yet I have been told they constantly fight in public when I am not around. The ex has even gone so far as to give me a little shove from behind and then stated he didn’t realize it was me.

Why is my ex doing this? Why does he act this way when HE broke up with me? What do I do to make him stop and just move on?

-Kristin (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

The real question is “Why did he break up with you?” Was he using it as a leverage to get something else from you? There’s no doubt he’s still attached to you, but his drunk texts and public displays designed to invite your jealous attention are a poor substitution for honest conversation.

If you love him and think there is still something there, call him and address all his behavior. If he still says he’d prefer to stay broken up, then you are right to not take his calls, avoid him in public, and move on. He doesn’t know what he wants.

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