How to Find “The One” After 50

Starting over later in life can be frightening, but it can also be liberating and exciting. Whether you tragically lost the perfect partner or finally ditched that SOB when your youngest child moved out of the house, you now have the kind of wisdom and insights into men, yourself and your future that you didn’t have the first time around.

Can you still find “The One” when you’re over 50? Absolutely.

Sure, the pool of available men is a lot smaller than it was after high school, when everyone was single. But there are fewer women looking, too. And the men have also learned (sometimes the hard way) to be more finely attuned to the needs of a woman and to appreciate the kind of fulfillment only she can bring to him.

Another woman’s trash might end up being your treasure. So how do you go about finding Mr. Right this time around?

Start off by realizing that what you want and need in a man now is very different than what you needed when you were 22. You don’t need to raise children, so you don’t have to look for someone tall and strong with good genes who will be a stable, doting father who spends every night at home and is handy with a hammer.

You can look for a good companion who captures your imagination and wants to take you dancing a couple nights a week, go for daytime walks and take long drives on the weekends.

There are no restrictions on setting your goals and redefining your dreams when you are on the threshold of a new beginning.

Just throw away your old checklist and examine your life right now. What are all the things you always dreamed of doing but the realities of family life held you back? You may have had the sweetest man in the world who was perfect for your life then, but your needs have changed.

• Do you want a more exciting and romantic lover?
• Do you want a man who loves to travel?
• Do you want a guy who escaped for an active retirement in a warm paradise?

Consider all of the possibilities that are open to you as you enter the frontier of your next adventure in life, and then look in the right places that offer what you want and need.

It might be an online dating service, the church, a night class at the community college, the gym or just about anywhere.

“There are a lot of good ones out there,

but you may have to re-examine your goals.”

You’re a big girl now. You don’t have to let the first guy who comes along with a bouquet of flowers sweep you off your feet.

Date a few different guys and get a taste of their lifestyles — and their love styles. Kiss a few guys. Accept an offer to spend a weekend at a cozy bed and breakfast. And, yes, sleep with the men who earn and deserve your affection.

Sex should never be cheap and easy, but it doesn’t have to become an instant commitment either. If you’re OK with the morality of the times, then sample the flavors that life has to offer and find a guy who gives new meaning to lovemaking.

If you became sexually active between the arrival of The Beatles and the arrival of AIDS, then you’re probably already fine with a little experimentation. And if you’re still wondering what all the fuss is about sex anyway, then you’ve never been with a man who was proficient at the sport of love.

There are a lot of good ones out there, but you may have to re-examine your goals and then shop around to find “The One” that can really ring your bell and fulfill your life this time around.