How Can I Find A Good Girlfriend Lgbt

Lesbian Dating

How Can I Find A Good Girlfriend? An Expert’s 5 Tips

Dr. Frankie

Written by: Dr. Frankie

Dr. Frankie

Dr. Frankie Bashan is the CEO and Founder of, which focuses on personalized matchmaking for lesbians and bisexual women, and she has successfully connected singles across the United States for the last decade.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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How do you find a good girlfriend? That is a great question. I am having flashbacks to a movie that is so old, most of you have probably never heard of it.

Weird Science” is from the mid-1980s, and a group of teenagers design their ideal woman on a computer. Every female characteristic they could ever want was typed in. Little did they know that some electrical glitch would actually bring this woman to life.

You don’t have to go to those extremes to find a good girlfriend — just take a look at this list.

1. Online and Mobile Dating

What happened in “Weird Science” kind of reminds me of online dating. Someone goes to the computer and puts in all of these criteria they desire in their “perfect” girlfriend, hoping that, once they’ve entered all of the data and they hit enter, she will suddenly appear on the screen ready and willing to start their journey together.

Only, it doesn’t quite happen that way. I’m sure there are stories of people who did hit enter, and their first online dating app match ended up being their lifelong partner. But, at least for most people, this is just not the case.

While online dating is definitely one of the more popular and convenient ways people are looking for a girlfriend these days, if you choose to go this method, you may want to take into account some of the inherent challenges to online dating.

Photo of woman online dating

Dating online and through mobile apps is definitely convenient.

Most people dating online are communicating with several potential matches at the same time. Just as you start feeling excited about someone, they may ghost you. No explanation. This could sting, especially if the site or app that you are on allows you to see if they are still active on the platform. Unfortunately, this is to be expected.

Even if you meet a match in real life, she may still be very active online pursuing other people. Again, this can be frustrating and painful if you aren’t prepared for this, and she may either ghost you or not want to stop dating other people.

People may not be honest on their profile. Anything about them could just not be true. Their photos, their age, anything, really, can be suspect. The best thing to do is invest a little time in chatting before asking to FaceTime or meet up in person.

The more you chat, the more you create an image of this person based on what their profile says. If it is all fake, then you start to fall for someone who does not even exist.

So, while online dating may be one way to find a girlfriend, it certainly is not the only way. You really have other, truly viable options out there. What are they?

2. Hire a Matchmaker

Maybe you have a hard time deciding which profiles have potential. Maybe you are too tired to continue the search on your own and just want someone else to find someone for you. Or maybe you just want to try matchmaking out because what you have been doing hasn’t worked out for you so far.

A professional matchmaker can take the time to get to really know you and understand you, and then he or she can find someone who would be a great partner for you based on all of the things that make you, well, you.

Matchmaking graphic

A matchmaker can do all the hard work, while you just enjoy the fruits of his or her labor.

Matchmaking is a great idea if you are looking for important things in a partner and in a relationship, and just can’t seem to meet anyone who is also looking for those things.

For instance, maybe you are always meeting women who want to casually date and never want to have children. But you want to find someone who wants to get married and have children. A matchmaker will only match you with potential mates who are looking for the same things you are, so you won’t have to waste your time dating the wrong people.

3. Ask Your Friends for Help

You are friends with these people because you like hanging out with them. You probably have some things in common. So, I would think that, if they had other single friends, they would probably like hanging out with you, too.

Your friends know that you are single, but it may not be until you outright ask them if they know anyone they can introduce you to that they start really thinking about it. Your friends introducing you to someone they know is sometimes the best way to meet a potential girlfriend.

Photo of girl friends

Your friends truly know you, so they can be a big help introducing you to potential mates.

Think about it: Your friends know this person, so you don’t have to worry about whether she has a shady past or some secret life she is hiding from you. Plus, you two already have friends in common, making your social life that much easier.

4. Go to Events You Enjoy

Going to events or places you enjoy is one way to meet people who are like-minded and who you know enjoy doing the same things you do right from the start.

Like yoga? Why not start going to the yoga studio down the street? And, if you see an attractive woman in class, place your mat next to hers and start up a conversation as you walk out the door.

Photo of women doing yoga

If you like yoga, go to a yoga studio. If you enjoy cooking, take a cooking class.

Are you passionate about your profession? See if there are any conventions coming up you can attend. Sign up for the networking events or cocktail hours, and use those as opportunities to meet someone.

5. Sign Up for a Singles Cruise or Trip

What better way to increase your chances of meeting your future girlfriend than by going to events or traveling with only single people?

Companies now advertise and host events, cruises, and trips just for single people. I just did a quick internet search, and found all sorts of opportunities for cruises for singles. Travel agencies can also recommend trips dedicated for singles to just about anywhere.

Photo of woman on a cruise

Do a Google search for “lesbian singles cruises and events,” and you’ll get a lot of results.

Singles events pop up all over the place. It is just a matter of tapping into events going on locally that interest you. I put in another internet search for “singles events near me,” and a ton of events come up.

What a great way to meet someone. The primary reason you are there is not to meet someone, but because of the event itself. So, even if you don’t find your future girlfriend, you have fun and enjoy yourself.

Something tells me that if you go on a fun vacation cruise, you may be more likely to meet someone when you are relaxed, having a great time, and being yourself. Just saying…

Most Importantly, Be Assertive

This is the scariest tip of all, right? But it’s the most important. You need to be assertive in every aspect of your personal life if you want to find a good girlfriend.

Let’s say you see an attractive woman sitting at Starbucks or at the bar with her friends. Just go right up to her and spark up a conversation by saying hello and introducing yourself.

I think, for most people, this is much more anxiety-provoking than sitting behind a computer screen on a dating site and typing away in the warm comfort of their home. Being out in public, going up to a woman who could quite possibly be married, and putting yourself out on the line is not something most people would feel comfortable doing.

However, before the internet and before dating apps even existed, people met in real life and had relationships. It was not all that long ago that the way most people started dating was sparked by someone going up to another person they found attractive and starting a conversation.

Your good girlfriend is out there somewhere. Try some of the tips discussed above. And, most of all, have fun finding her!

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