I Tried AdultFriendFinder to See What It's Really Like

Overview

As my romantasy-filled library can tell you, I’m not afraid of a little smut, and sometimes adult content can spice up a night alone. Since the 1990s, AdultFriendFinder has offered a sex-positive escape for people with all sorts of kinks and fantasies. I braved the sultry waters of AdultFriendFinder and found plenty of photos, videos, and profiles to explore. I liked that I could control what level of explicit content I saw, thanks to the opt-in “naughty photo” filter. I highly recommend AFF if you’re looking for sex talk and X-rated content in a secure, private space. Just be ready to pay for video and messaging features.

• Visit the website »

Being single can be pretty dull and lonely, like trudging through a sexual desert and feeling super thirsty but seeing only mirages that ghost at the first mention of kinks. 

AdultFriendFinder aims to be a fetish-friendly oasis, but is it good enough to satisfy all types of sexual desires? How anonymously can one search for kinky profiles? Asking for a friend, obviously.

I made an AFF account and upgraded to Gold Membership to see what it’s got to offer. Let’s go through the signup, the videos, and all the dirty deets.

Joining Was as Quick as Answering 10 Questions

I created an AdultFriendFinder account in less than five minutes. Honestly, the page loading was the longest part. The questions were straightforward and stuck to the basics of gender, orientation, age, and location.

I appreciated seeing “asexual” and “questioning” as part of the orientation list. Don’t see those too often on other sites. AFF is also poly-friendly with options for couples who want to swing or seek a third.

Being open about intentions is part of AFF’s appeal to sex seekers who are tired of playing coy on apps like Tinder and Bumble. AFF lays it all on the line.

AFF auto-generated a username for me, and I tweaked it to include my name and birth year because I think that’s a nice (if basic) touch.

Next I needed to write a quick introduction. I kept it short, introducing myself as a newcomer to the area seeking friends.

Then all I had to do was activate my account by verifying my email address. Adding a photo was optional. I opted not to add a pic to start off.

The load times could be a little slow, mostly on confirming my ZIP code and username. Every other page loaded instantly. But after a few minutes, I had my profile done and was ready to mingle.

Browsing the Site & Reading Through Messages

My first Sexy Match came within minutes of subscribing. It was a 48-year-old woman from Atlanta (40 minutes away from me). Her photo was just feet in a bubble bath, and she described herself: “Sensual with a dominant streak and a filthy imagination.”

She had a lot of information in her profile, mostly centered around her fantasies, but she also had more general details about how she likes to wake up to the smell of coffee and is allergic to dogs.

I ended up with four messages and one match within the first hour of my profile going live. Which I thought was pretty decent for not having a photo up. 

As a free member, I couldn’t read more than the first line or send a response…so I upgraded to get all the juicy details. Here’s the pricing I saw:

The longer subscriptions cost less per month, but keep in mind that it’s billed in a lump sum, so the one-year plan would cost nearly $180 upon checkout.

VIP Memberships, starting at around $30 a month, included more visibility in search results and more credits to spend on livestreams. I stuck with Gold to start off.

Once I was a Gold Member, my messages were unlocked, and I couldn’t wait to read them.

I was pleasantly surprised that not every message in my inbox was about sex. The polite inquiries could’ve just as easily come from Hinge:

• “What kind of friend are you looking for?”
• “How was your day?”
• “Well hi there what are you seeking on here?”

Aaaaand then there were a couple more forward and sexual messages:

• “I bet you’d love a full body massage.”
• “I’d love to tie you up…” (censored: what followed was basically porn)

I didn’t get anything too aggressive or creepy. Over my first weekend on AFF, I racked up 13 messages. One guy without a profile picture asked me if I had photos of myself, and another older gentleman wanted to meet up for coffee or dinner.

One 54-year-old guy with just a photo of his abs asked if I was interested in older married men. 

Notably, only one message came from a guy in my town. Most were from neighboring areas. A few were from neighboring states.

The most graphic message came from a guy whose photo was a frontal of him in boxers. AFF had a lot of similar underwear shots or ab shots. If anyone had nudity in their photo, it would simply read “Naughty photo,” and I could click to see it or leave it grayed out.

If I wanted to get rid of these filters, I could click my profile icon in the upper right corner and select “Show Everything.” I did not do that.

I could star messages if I wanted to keep them from getting buried. I could also filter the messages by read, unread, replied, and unreplied. It was a straightforward interface for small talk and sexting with horny people near and far (well, mostly far).

Search Tab

AdultFriendFinder browsing is old-school. You’re viewing profiles in a big grid with tabs for different types of lists. It’s not swiping one profile at a time. It’s more of a big profile yearbook packed with naughty photos.

The Search tab was comprehensive. I could look at who’s online now or members near me. I could sort for VIP members only. I could look at the New Matches list. Or I could do a custom search, kink search, or search by username.

The more I browsed, the more I appreciated the naughty photo screening. No unsolicited dick pics here! 

After viewing the array of profiles on AFF, I realized just how basic my username was. People really got creative, inserting words like “kinksty” and “uncut” in there. Only half of users included their faces in photos, if they had photos at all.

I also noted a lot of profiles weren’t exactly local. Mostly they were within the same state, but a few snuck in from across the country. I saw a group of swingers in Alabama and a faceless guy in Connecticut who is “single as a Pringle.”

If I scrolled down a bit, I’d even see featured men and women in Germany, Mexico, the UK, and other parts of the world. If I went to the Near Me tab, though, everyone was in my home state.

Who’s Hot

The Who’s Hot section had several places to explore: Hottest Videos, Hottest Photos, Hottest Albums, Hottest Members, and Top Members.

In the photos section, I could sort by the most liked or the most viewed today, this week, this month, or in the last three months. I could also look at newly uploaded, most favorited, or a special mix of photos.

These photos were 90% women, a lot of bare chests and body shots, definitely NSFW. 

The videos had the same options, and again, it was mostly women. Many of the thumbnails left little to the imagination. This section wasn’t so much dating as it was outright porn.

The hottest members were mostly out of state, sometimes even international, so is it realistic for one-night stands or IRL dates? No. But it’s a decent option for long-distance sexting or getting your rocks off.

Live Action

The Live Action section includes Member webcams, live models, chat rooms, and a social-media-esque activity feed. The webcams are pretty much 100% penises while the live model videos have varying degrees of nudity. 

Again, the Naughty Photo screening that AFF put up made browsing less of an unsolicited dick parade and more of an opt-in porn show. I would have to click on the View Now button to see what the X-rated content is. 

The action in the webcams was pretty much all solo stuff. The live models had more team-up situations, and a lot more women were in the mix.

Free members can view the videos, but they can’t communicate. It’s look-but-don’t-chat. As a VIP member, I could message anybody anywhere, and free members could reply to me without paying.

The Chat Room had a variety of interest groups for certain kinks and desires. A popular one was titled “Extreme taboo very few limits.” The members here described themselves as everything from swinger couples to shaved crossdressers. 

For whatever reason, I noticed a lot of bisexual or bi-curious people mingled in this forum. It wasn’t the most active space on AFF, but it was enthusiastic.

The Activity Feed looked like an X-rated version of a social media feed with posts from all over the world. Someone in Australia commented, “Amazing body” on a photo of a woman in lingerie. Borders didn’t matter when it came to making sexual overtures.

Community Forum

The community section is all free to explore. I didn’t hit a single paywall here as a free member. The content varied from poetry and storytelling to invitations to meet for an orgy.

This section is sort of like a big sex-positive gathering of individuals posting invites, blogs, stories, and polls. I selected a preference of no nudity at first, so it started pretty tame.

Right up top someone had posted: Any singles or couples available for play this evening?

That was the vibe. People were looking to plan meetups and put out feelers for sexual partners. Most weren’t in my local area, but many were in the same state or a neighboring state.

I could post a story to add to the collection of erotica. I could make a poll to take the temperature of the people online. 

I saw and participated in polls like what attracts you more: mind, eyes, or the unsaid (eyes was a clear winner with 13 votes). 

In another poll, 47 people said they’d rather stay in with a pizza or Chinese versus only 10 said they prefer going to bars and being out. 

The community space was easy to browse, and I liked that I could hide or follow any posts, users, or groups there. I had a lot of control over the spiciness as well. 

The sidebar had a Content Rating that I could change at will from No Nudity, Nudity, Sexual, or Everything.

A lot of the people posting naked pics put a helpful description in their caption, so I knew what I was missing. As in, “For your Monday blahs, here are some face-sitting images.”

While it may not have led to any person-to-person connections, I thought lurking in the AFF Community was a fun, dare I say, titillating experience. It’s a good way to ease into the kinkster world and take advantage of the freebies.

If you’re looking for IRL dates, though, you’re probably better off in the main section.

Pros & Cons

AdultFriendFinder works best for folks who are interested in sex content and sexual connections. Despite its name, it isn’t actually ideal for seeking a platonic friend. It’s in the business of friends with benefits and sex buddies, and that comes with some ups and downs.

The AFF community is thriving, and it’s very much a choose-your-own-adventure setup where you can find profiles, videos, photo galleries, and chat forums easily. Some paywalls do spoil the fun for free members, but that can also be a good thing for user engagement and genuine chats.

Free members can’t spam you here. They’ve got to pony up and show they’re invested in getting something going.

Other Interesting Tidbits on the Side 

The sidebar on AFF does a lot of work. It shows some status updates, some videos, and some ads (only if you’re a free member). I also saw a running tally of my views, messages, flirts, hotlists, likes, comments, favorites, etc.

There was even a job ad listing for FriendFinder network in the sidebar. The link led to a blank page though.

I thought the most interesting offer in the sidebar was the chance to verify my profile in a couple different ways.

I could add a government ID to get a verified badge on my profile. In addition to that honor, AFF promised more visibility on the site. Profiles with the badge purportedly get five times more responses from members. 

Or if I verified my age through Yoti, I could get a week of VIP membership for free (as long as I was over 18). The Yoti interface provided two options for age verification: One needed a live selfie so the AI could estimate my age and the other required a driver’s license, passport, or national ID.

Yoti promised a secure and safe age verification process. “Once we’ve confirmed you’re 18 or over, we won’t store or share any of your details.”

Seems like a pretty quick and painless way to 1) Make AFF a safer, more transparent place and 2) Get yourself a freebie and try out VIP membership for a week.

Who It Helps

Best For: AFF is best for sex-minded adults seeking chats, one-night stands, FWBs, swinging, or other casual sexual encounters.

Not Good For: It is not a great site for finding serious relationships or love.

Inclusiveness: It is inclusive of couples dating, transgender dating, as well as queer and questioning people. It’s a good place to explore if you’re sexually curious.

Age Demographics: A huge range of ages here. From early 20s to late 60s. Adults of all stripes.

Data Breakdown

User Base: Adults Over 18

AFF is an adults-only space, and age verification is required for some naughty spaces.

Popularity: 25.5 Million

With millions of active members, this sex community is thriving.

Gender Ratio: M:65% – F:35%

Men outnumber women on AFF. That's typical on virtually all casual dating sites.

AdultFriendFinder Puts It All Out There

Some may turn up their noses at it, but as far as sex sites go, AdultFriendFinder provides a lot of spice for a low cost. No other dating site has as many sultry videos and sexy personals.

I was expecting to see a lot of X-rated content, and AFF certainly delivered there, but I was surprised at how detailed many profiles were, including lists of interests and hobbies right alongside fetishes and fantasies. 

“No other dating site has as many sultry videos and sexy personals.”

I was also pleasantly surprised that my incoming messages were polite and relatively tame for a sex site. Honestly, I’ve seen a lot grosser messages on the mainstream apps.

You can mingle and lurk in the community pages for free for as long as you like, but I’d say the best way to actually meet potential sex partners would be to browse the Members Near Me section and pay for the pleasure of private chatting.

AFF is a hookup site that doesn’t pretend to be anything less than what it is. Wild, sex-positive, and dare I say… liberating? Set aside your preconceived prudishness and see it for yourself.