Online Dating

Death by Adjectives in Your Online Dating Profile

Gina Stewart

Written by: Gina Stewart

Gina Stewart

Gina is the owner of Expert Online Dating. As an online dating consultant, she helps men and women maximize their online dating experiences to get more dates. You can visit her website,, for more information or to contact her.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Hi. I’m Gina. I’m smart, fun, funny, kind, considerate, honest, goal-oriented, clever, crunchy, purple, descriptive and…oh so frustrated.

Why? I hate adjectives.

Whatever English teacher told you adjectives were the words you use to describe something were terrible people and liars. I’m just kidding.

Adjectives have a place in language. However, that place is not in your online dating profile.

I know, you’re thinking I should have put “crazy” in my list of adjectives. I’m crazy.

What is this sacrilege against the English language’s use of adjectives of which I speak?

Let’s take a look at a prototype of a very common profile. I call this the Death by Adjectives profile:

“I am smart, fun, funny, kind, generous, free-spirited, open book, hardworking, adventurous. I am looking for someone who is sweet, centered, good-natured, fun, smart, interesting. I really don’t like flakes, liars or manipulators. I am so sick of drama! Save the drama for your mama! I am really looking for someone a lot like myself.”

These profiles have good intentions.

Daters are using words that probably describe a lot about themselves and what they are looking for in a partner. Their friends would probably say the same thing.

Whenever someone is getting set up on a date, the description of “What kind of person is he/she?” usually starts similarly, “Well, he’s smart, he’s tall, he’s kinda nerdy, sweet…etc.”

The problem with these descriptors is they haven’t painted a picture in your mind of what this person is actually like.

You usually start asking questions like, “Wait, wait, wait, what kind of smart? Like Ken Jennings smart? Cause that’s annoying to me. Or like Dr. House smart? I love that guy. Or like Gandhi smart? Cause Gandhi is cool and all, but I’m not sure me and Gandhi would make the best couple…”

You see how one adjective like “smart” can dovetail in so many different ways.

Saying you’re “smart” doesn’t mean anyone knows what that reflection in your personality looks like.


“When you let people get a feeling for your true

personality, more people will take more interest in you.”

The same goes with every other adjective.

Are you kind? Kind like you give spare change to homeless? Or kind like you always shake hands with two hands instead of one? Or kind like you don’t say four-letter curse words?

How about adventurous? Like you eat raw fish? Or you have done zip-lining? Or you’re Bear Grylls?

In your profile, you are not just trying to be honest. You are also trying to paint a picture and create a feeling of what you’re like.

When you make effort to let people get a feeling for your true personality in a profile, more people will take more interest in you.

Your words will resonate in them.

When someone takes interest, they send messages. From messages, you get dates. From dates, you find love. Don’t you want love?

Stay tuned. I’ll show you what purpose adjectives have when writing your profile.

Have you used adjectives to describe yourself? Are some better than others?

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